Tuesday, November 13, 2007

HOW DO YOU KNOW ME ? I find it interesting that I want to be known .

What I am really saying is I want to be understood . One of my major concerns has been , will the Lord say , He knows me ? The quest to know Him is all so obvious, but how do you gage that He knows you ?

Then I got it ! Who understands me ? How do I know He understands me ? Jesus , through the Holy Spirit leads me to read scripture and inspire me to apply it to my life. Only someone who knows me would know what particular scripture would most fit my life for each day. Only someone who knows me intimately would be able to guide me to just happen to talk to the right person at just the right time and glean some wisdom or encouragement from them that would assure me , that yes, I am on the right path. Or sometimes , correct in a way that I know only He could have shown them how to do it so lovingly.

I still struggle with being able to talk to people . The more confident I am that He knows me and loves me unconditionally, the braver I become to letting others know me. I am kind of hard to understand. I think pictures and I talk about the pictures I see. I don't have a lot of little stories to tell like most folks do. My family did not promote story telling nor take time to enjoy the small things in life. I am learning now how to watch for stories as they happen. This is an ice breaker people use to form friendships and then, they will get to know you, maybe.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Here is what I found this afternoon, while admitting to my Father that in my flesh is no good thing. I told Him that if I suppress the flesh I quench the Spirit, but if I just let the flesh go and be it's self I am not sure He likes that either , so I with draw.

I told Him I guess He could look at the work that He's done and then I had an idea, maybe because He is God and can do anything, maybe He could just leave what was left to do and not worry about it.

Must of made sense to Him because I picked up my book Hiding From Love and here is what I read.

When we're attacked because of our hiding patterns-by others or ourselves-we simply hold them more tightly. If our defenses are our only friends, we will go down with them rather than abandon them and risk re-injury. It takes the warm light of grace and safety, with honest truthfulness, to help us outgrow our concealment's.

I have a friend who does very obvious things that repulse me . My first reaction is " this can not be a man that loves me. Just no way does he even respect me or appreciate anything I do for him."
Then my gut feeling is that he is suffering from a terrible terrible spirit of rejection that will not let him be accepted. When he thinks he might be accepted he flings himself into the fire "so to speak " so he will be totally right. He is rejected, he is repulsive, he knew it all along.

So I have to bring him the warm light of grace and safety, with honest truthfulness, to help him outgrow his desire to conceal the real him, who might really be liked, he might really be loved, he might really be okay. Yeah, he might have a whole lot of flesh left and only a little of the new nature formed in him from Christ Jesus. But maybe God just looks at the work He has done and says, "that's okay, we'll worry about the rest another day."

Better to not quench the Spirit I think. What if the lady at the well had not told her fellow villagers about the man who promised to give living water because of her fleshly problems ? A few people here and there can change history. They are all important.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Truefaced journey has been most helpful.
Even if I can not always be able to let my true face be shown to people around me. The practice or the intent to do so has ever so much increased. With that, grace has increased. If I have a time when the mask came on , I receive His grace. Then He (our LORD) helps me take it off again.
I try not to compare myself with others.
That way it does not matter if someone else is able to be true faced more than I . Should you want to point how someone else is doing, I hope to be able to say, " Really, I never noticed. "
I try to be open to God's word.
That means instead of running to my usual mask, I am willing to hear from the Holy Spirit a voice of Truth. Further explanation, a reminder from the Holy Spirit what God's word from the Holy Bible has to say about what is going on in my life.
I am trying to stand on my own two feet.
This takes some doing , and I am not solidly sure this can ever be done alone.
Because the word says , let there be two or three witnesses.
However, I am learning to stand, (praise God, I am not alone.)
I believe that I am already forgiven.
I do not have to do some penance or hope to do better next time , to earn forgiveness. This has also affected the way that I relate to people. I realize that they also are forgiven.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

My journey has taken a new turn. There is now a group. Three, a group. Once you read (click here) this excerpt from my other blog you will know that I am so totally unsure if the group will remain or disband. It will remain by one tremendous miracle (that I am hoping for) THE GRACE OF GOD.
If you have watched the DVD or read the guidebook you know that John Lynch is still not all perfect. He is not even trying to say he is perfect. He is not even trying to say that he has now removed his masks and now so should you. He is not even suggesting that he has managed to end all of hiding styles.
I knew all of this before I asked my friends if they would go on this journey with me. I figured if they liked him, then surely they would put up with me. Then one announces , she really does not like him. I became sure then she would not like me and so announced the whole thing to the group, and can you see, Truefaced groups really need prayer to receive the grace that God is willing to extend to them.
I have now realized that I to was trying to throw away the gift of acceptance that was trying to be given to me.
It has been very hard but I want you to know that God has been preparing me for this very day. In my journey I have many times visited this site (click here) and found the stories being shared there so fit in with my life today. However when they were going on and on about Philemon I really was not sure how to relate to it. Until, I began to see, when this group was formed, I now was possibly Philemon, if I could only believe.
Because of that I am quite sure He will give me another chance .
Also because I watched the Vegetales Jonah video and they sing it so beautifully, "He is a God of second chances." Oh, did I mention that I have decided that it is okay to stay childlike in my faith ? I do not know how that will work when I have to mature into being able to love, but I will work on that later.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
guidance- his disciplined love Hebrews 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
truth- God's instructional love Psalm 33:4 For the word of the LORD [is] right; and all his works [are done] in truth. Psalm 119:160 Thy word [is] true [from] the beginning: and every one of thy righteous judgments [endureth] for ever. Hebrews 6:18 That by two immutable things, in which [it was] impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us:

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for protection- God's jealous love Exodus 34:14-15 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name [is] Jealous, [is] a jealous God:Lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they go a whoring after their gods, and do sacrifice unto their gods, and [one] call thee, and thou eat of his sacrifice; Hosea 11:1-12 When Israel [was] a child, then I loved him, and called my son out of Egypt. [As] they called them, so they went from them: they sacrificed unto Baalim ,and burned incense to graven images. I taught Ephraim also to go, taking them by their arms; but they knew not that I healed them. I drew them with cords of a man, with bands of love: and I was to them as they that take off the yoke on their jaws, and I laid meat unto them. He shall not return into the land of Egypt, but the Assyrian shall be his king, because they refused to return. And the sword shall abide on his cities, and shall consume his branches, and devour [them], because of their own counsels. And my people are bent to backsliding from me: though they called them to the most High, none at all would exalt [him]. How shall I give thee up, Ephraim? [how] shall I deliver thee, Israel? how shall I make thee as Admah? [how] shall I set thee as Zeboim? mine heart is turned within me, my repentings are kindled together. I will not execute the fierceness of mine anger, I will not return to destroy Ephraim: for I [am] God, and not man; the Holy One in the midst of thee: and I will not enter into the city. They shall walk after the LORD: he shall roar like a lion: when he shall roar, then the children shall tremble from the west. They shall tremble as a bird out of Egypt, and as a dove out of the land of Assyria: and I will place them in their houses, saith the LORD. Ephraim compasseth me about with lies, and the house of Israel with deceit: but Judah yet ruleth with God, and is faithful with the saints.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
significance- God's affirming love I Timothy 1:12 And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry;

Friday, March 09, 2007

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
acceptance-God's unearned love Romans 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
security-God's committed love Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD thy God in the midst of thee [is] mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
trust-God's faithful love Lamentations 3:32-33 But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have drawn you with loving kindness." (NASB)

The first step in receiving the gift of love is to understand that we have needs. Once we believe that , we are ready for step two.
Step two:I realize that having my needs met is experiencing LOVE. Every day we need to be loved. Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
attention-his servant love John 13:5-20 After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe [them] with the towel wherewith he was girded.Then cometh he to Simon Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet?Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.Simon Peter saith unto him, Lord, not my feet only, but also [my] hands and [my] head.Jesus saith to him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash [his] feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean, but not all. For he knew who should betray him; therefore said he, Ye are not all clean. So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for [so] I am. If I then, [your] Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them. I speak not of you all: I know whom I have chosen: but that the scripture may be fulfilled, He that eateth bread with me hath lifted up his heel against me. Now I tell you before it come, that, when it is come to pass, ye may believe that I am [he]. Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that receiveth whomsoever I send receiveth me; and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.