Truefaced

2007-11-13T05:28:00.000-08:00

HOW DO YOU KNOW ME ? I find it interesting that I want to be known .

What I am really saying is I want to be understood . One of my major concerns has been , will the Lord say , He knows me ? The quest to know Him is all so obvious, but how do you gage that He knows you ?

Then I got it ! Who understands me ? How do I know He understands me ? Jesus , through the Holy Spirit leads me to read scripture and inspire me to apply it to my life. Only someone who knows me would know what particular scripture would most fit my life for each day. Only someone who knows me intimately would be able to guide me to just happen to talk to the right person at just the right time and glean some wisdom or encouragement from them that would assure me , that yes, I am on the right path. Or sometimes , correct in a way that I know only He could have shown them how to do it so lovingly.

I still struggle with being able to talk to people . The more confident I am that He knows me and loves me unconditionally, the braver I become to letting others know me. I am kind of hard to understand. I think pictures and I talk about the pictures I see. I don't have a lot of little stories to tell like most folks do. My family did not promote story telling nor take time to enjoy the small things in life. I am learning now how to watch for stories as they happen. This is an ice breaker people use to form friendships and then, they will get to know you, maybe.

2007-10-27T16:06:00.000-07:00

Here is what I found this afternoon, while admitting to my Father that in my flesh is no good thing. I told Him that if I suppress the flesh I quench the Spirit, but if I just let the flesh go and be it's self I am not sure He likes that either , so I with draw.

I told Him I guess He could look at the work that He's done and then I had an idea, maybe because He is God and can do anything, maybe He could just leave what was left to do and not worry about it.

Must of made sense to Him because I picked up my book Hiding From Love and here is what I read.

When we're attacked because of our hiding patterns-by others or ourselves-we simply hold them more tightly. If our defenses are our only friends, we will go down with them rather than abandon them and risk re-injury. It takes the warm light of grace and safety, with honest truthfulness, to help us outgrow our concealment's.

I have a friend who does very obvious things that repulse me . My first reaction is " this can not be a man that loves me. Just no way does he even respect me or appreciate anything I do for him."
Then my gut feeling is that he is suffering from a terrible terrible spirit of rejection that will not let him be accepted. When he thinks he might be accepted he flings himself into the fire "so to speak " so he will be totally right. He is rejected, he is repulsive, he knew it all along.

So I have to bring him the warm light of grace and safety, with honest truthfulness, to help him outgrow his desire to conceal the real him, who might really be liked, he might really be loved, he might really be okay. Yeah, he might have a whole lot of flesh left and only a little of the new nature formed in him from Christ Jesus. But maybe God just looks at the work He has done and says, "that's okay, we'll worry about the rest another day."

Better to not quench the Spirit I think. What if the lady at the well had not told her fellow villagers about the man who promised to give living water because of her fleshly problems ? A few people here and there can change history. They are all important.

2007-06-27T04:25:00.000-07:00

The Truefaced journey has been most helpful.
Even if I can not always be able to let my true face be shown to people around me. The practice or the intent to do so has ever so much increased. With that, grace has increased. If I have a time when the mask came on , I receive His grace. Then He (our LORD) helps me take it off again.
I try not to compare myself with others.
That way it does not matter if someone else is able to be true faced more than I . Should you want to point how someone else is doing, I hope to be able to say, " Really, I never noticed. "
I try to be open to God's word.
That means instead of running to my usual mask, I am willing to hear from the Holy Spirit a voice of Truth. Further explanation, a reminder from the Holy Spirit what God's word from the Holy Bible has to say about what is going on in my life.
I am trying to stand on my own two feet.
This takes some doing , and I am not solidly sure this can ever be done alone.
Because the word says , let there be two or three witnesses.
However, I am learning to stand, (praise God, I am not alone.)
I believe that I am already forgiven.
I do not have to do some penance or hope to do better next time , to earn forgiveness. This has also affected the way that I relate to people. I realize that they also are forgiven.

2007-04-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

My journey has taken a new turn. There is now a group. Three, a group. Once you read (click here) this excerpt from my other blog you will know that I am so totally unsure if the group will remain or disband. It will remain by one tremendous miracle (that I am hoping for) THE GRACE OF GOD.
If you have watched the DVD or read the guidebook you know that John Lynch is still not all perfect. He is not even trying to say he is perfect. He is not even trying to say that he has now removed his masks and now so should you. He is not even suggesting that he has managed to end all of hiding styles.
I knew all of this before I asked my friends if they would go on this journey with me. I figured if they liked him, then surely they would put up with me. Then one announces , she really does not like him. I became sure then she would not like me and so announced the whole thing to the group, and can you see, Truefaced groups really need prayer to receive the grace that God is willing to extend to them.
I have now realized that I to was trying to throw away the gift of acceptance that was trying to be given to me.
It has been very hard but I want you to know that God has been preparing me for this very day. In my journey I have many times visited this site (click here) and found the stories being shared there so fit in with my life today. However when they were going on and on about Philemon I really was not sure how to relate to it. Until, I began to see, when this group was formed, I now was possibly Philemon, if I could only believe.
Because of that I am quite sure He will give me another chance .
Also because I watched the Vegetales Jonah video and they sing it so beautifully, "He is a God of second chances." Oh, did I mention that I have decided that it is okay to stay childlike in my faith ? I do not know how that will work when I have to mature into being able to love, but I will work on that later.

2007-03-11T06:01:00.000-07:00

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
guidance- his disciplined love Hebrews 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
truth- God's instructional love Psalm 33:4 For the word of the LORD [is] right; and all his works [are done] in truth. Psalm 119:160 Thy word [is] true [from] the beginning: and every one of thy righteous judgments [endureth] for ever. Hebrews 6:18 That by two immutable things, in which [it was] impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us:

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for protection- God's jealous love Exodus 34:14-15 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name [is] Jealous, [is] a jealous God:Lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they go a whoring after their gods, and do sacrifice unto their gods, and [one] call thee, and thou eat of his sacrifice; Hosea 11:1-12 When Israel [was] a child, then I loved him, and called my son out of Egypt. [As] they called them, so they went from them: they sacrificed unto Baalim ,and burned incense to graven images. I taught Ephraim also to go, taking them by their arms; but they knew not that I healed them. I drew them with cords of a man, with bands of love: and I was to them as they that take off the yoke on their jaws, and I laid meat unto them. He shall not return into the land of Egypt, but the Assyrian shall be his king, because they refused to return. And the sword shall abide on his cities, and shall consume his branches, and devour [them], because of their own counsels. And my people are bent to backsliding from me: though they called them to the most High, none at all would exalt [him]. How shall I give thee up, Ephraim? [how] shall I deliver thee, Israel? how shall I make thee as Admah? [how] shall I set thee as Zeboim? mine heart is turned within me, my repentings are kindled together. I will not execute the fierceness of mine anger, I will not return to destroy Ephraim: for I [am] God, and not man; the Holy One in the midst of thee: and I will not enter into the city. They shall walk after the LORD: he shall roar like a lion: when he shall roar, then the children shall tremble from the west. They shall tremble as a bird out of Egypt, and as a dove out of the land of Assyria: and I will place them in their houses, saith the LORD. Ephraim compasseth me about with lies, and the house of Israel with deceit: but Judah yet ruleth with God, and is faithful with the saints.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
significance- God's affirming love I Timothy 1:12 And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry;

2007-03-09T04:38:00.000-08:00

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
acceptance-God's unearned love Romans 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
security-God's committed love Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD thy God in the midst of thee [is] mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
trust-God's faithful love Lamentations 3:32-33 But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have drawn you with loving kindness." (NASB)

2007-03-09T04:18:00.000-08:00

The first step in receiving the gift of love is to understand that we have needs. Once we believe that , we are ready for step two.
Step two:I realize that having my needs met is experiencing LOVE. Every day we need to be loved. Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
attention-his servant love John 13:5-20 After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe [them] with the towel wherewith he was girded.Then cometh he to Simon Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet?Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.Simon Peter saith unto him, Lord, not my feet only, but also [my] hands and [my] head.Jesus saith to him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash [his] feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean, but not all. For he knew who should betray him; therefore said he, Ye are not all clean. So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for [so] I am. If I then, [your] Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them. I speak not of you all: I know whom I have chosen: but that the scripture may be fulfilled, He that eateth bread with me hath lifted up his heel against me. Now I tell you before it come, that, when it is come to pass, ye may believe that I am [he]. Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that receiveth whomsoever I send receiveth me; and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.

2007-03-09T04:02:00.000-08:00

As I move into chapter 4 of Truefaced Experience I am finding the subject matter very relevant to my life right now.
It has been my earlier experiences of spiritual growth to meditate on God's word. The truth , be transformed by the renewing of your mind, became real to me after I read the book Hinds Feet in High Places, the third time. When I began reading that book I felt so connected to Much Afraid. I could not love, not even have a human love it seemed. I was so miserable . As I read the story written by Hannah Hurnard it projected hope for me that somehow Love could be a fruit in me. A seed was planted in Much Afraid's heart and she took off on a journey. It was the only hope I had . The promise seemed there for me in God's word, be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, so off I went.
Later I learned the importance of allowing the Holy Spirit be involved in the promise. I do not regret meditating on God's word. I just know that it wasn't until I started letting the Holy Spirit rain on that word, that change began to take effect in my life.
Now there are promises that come with this chapter in our books that I want to meditate on , and allow the Holy Spirit do it's work in me. As I prepare a new post, it will show above this one but I hope it will be helpful to others on this journey. Please take the time to print the scriptures out and ask the Holy Spirit to make them real to your heart. If these fellows were inspired by the Holy Spirit when they wrote this book we should together receive confirmation. Not just go along nodding our heads, but know it in our hearts.

2007-02-18T17:52:00.000-08:00

Why I Hide.....It is a wonder to me that I still have times that are difficult to come out and face the LORD. I really appreciate the Holy Spirit being able to cause this longing for close intimacy with Him. It prompts me to start trying to figure out why I am hiding, again.
So is all I do is say, "Lord, why am I hiding ?" Not exactly, it is a place to start though. He speaks to me in His word. Today I just tried to dialogue the best I could about what I was feeling.
I began to realize that I was not quite sure how He was feeling about how I was feeling.
Now this is what comes from being raised to always think you were suppose to know what other people were feeling .
It is so hard to stop thinking of God as a person. However, it is becoming easier to know that He is so much better than any person. He would not expect me to guess what He's feeling and do something to make Him feel better.
However I thought, I wonder if He would let me know how He is feeling about what I have been telling Him.
Well, He talks to me in His Word , so I put my Kleenex aside and pulled my Bible to me. I have these pages in the back that is titled, God's answers to man's concerns. So I started looking down the list to see if any of them sounded like my concern. I started reading the different scriptures and began to think if there were any similarities there between those people and me.
Sure enough I came upon a place that sounded like me.
You know people expressed their feelings to Jesus back in those Bible days.
Others told Him how they felt all through the Bible.
Jesus may have been rough and gruff and to the point on many occasions.
But He was also sensitive and caring about people and how situations had caused them to feel. He did not back off and say, "Hey ,look me up when you are through crying." Point being, I do not have to hide from Him anymore.
I maybe very disappointed about some current events that has taken place, to the point of crying.
However, once I felt sure I did not need to hide my tears from Him , that He cared and He understood why I was so disappointed. I sure felt better.
I don't want to hide from Him and I feel sure that you do not want to either.
If I can help you in anyway on your journey, just drop me an e-mail.
Sometimes just having a human ear to hear helps, especially one that knows
Jesus Cares.

2007-01-13T05:11:00.000-08:00

What I Believe. It began with my believing that Jesus would really want to talk to me. Now this does not happen for everyone. Only a few people actually believe that Jesus really wants to know us. There are many who believe that Jesus wants us to be good. That He is happy when we are good. There are many that believe that if we are good , good things will happen to us. Just how many of those people actually believe that He wants to know them in a personal way ?
Some where in that mob of people ,there may be people who also believe this. However, I see it as more important than the other. It keeps coming back and haunting me when I begin to become active in the church community. I think, okay, I know He does not want me to just sit around on my hands, but how come every time I begin to become active , He asks me to sit down again ? Am I not to do anything ? Did He not say, Be a light unto the world ? How am I to be a light , if I sit down all the time and never do anything ?
Years of living in the mob has undoubtedly had it's toll on me. For once I knew there was no other great thing to do but commune with Jesus. Now I have a sense of urgency for the captive and the lost . Yet when I get up to help them, I lose what I had because I fall into their idea, Jesus is happy when I am good. Jesus will repay me with good things when I am good.
I sit down again and I wait.
I wait on His Word to speak life into this dead body.
I come alive when He speaks.
I live when He talks.
I give out of what He gives me, not what I have.
I speak words of praise to Him.
I must let Him know me.
I must give Him opportunity to speak to my whole person.
I must have an abundance before I try to share it ? Or atleast the faith of mustard seed that can see what I give multiply to feed thousands if need be.
However the greatest of these is LOVE, He said.
How can I get this LOVE to give ? By letting Him know me and LOVE me first.

2006-12-16T07:40:00.000-08:00

Walking On Ice. If I were to come upon a body of water frozen over , I might speculate the possibilities of crossing over to the other side by indeed walking on the ice. There would be much to consider and if any doubt of the ice's durability to hold me up, I am quite sure I would take a different route. Should I choose to start across I would be watching for signs of this being a good or bad choice.
So it is with relationships. Open my heart, give you my trust, let myself love you with unconditional surrender, Ice Walking.
The dunk being : unloved in return ? No. The dunk being : love not honored and cherished.
I the unloving one for so long have found that entering into the room of grace provides one most fantastic benefit.
You can be loved ! You can dare to love if you choose.
Now loved , my heart's desire is for other suffering souls to escape the emotional prisons they now live in and find the joy of this room of grace. I must hope that our Father will reveal His love to them using many ways. As I try to allow myself to be used in His plan I find myself on thin ice and quickly retreating to safe ground.
That is okay though. I do not give up , because He does not give up on me. Yes, it is true ! He never gives up on me.

2006-11-07T07:20:00.000-08:00

The Most Important Thing. I have to check every day to make sure I haven't lost the most important thing. You would think that by now I would know if I have it or not. However, I don't know, without checking.
It comes in a wave of understanding when my prayers become mostly petitions. It is great that I have such a desire to see the LORD help others but wait,
have I lost the most important thing ?
Yet my petitions to help others are weighty and will their needs still get met if I step aside and check to see, do I still have the most important thing ?
When once I decide I must check , or else I'll be doing this all in vain. I realize just how truthful that thought was , when I find, I need this most important thing in order for all my petitions to mean anything. They will be lost in the wind if I do not have this most important thing , so I must stop my mind from running a muck with please help .........and please help .......
I must stop and wait for the HOLY SPIRIT .
I must give Him opportunity to give me words of thanksgiving.
I must wait and let Him open my heart with thoughts of praise and worship.
Or I've lost it, the most important thing.

2006-10-24T05:54:00.000-07:00

To Love Truth......As you already know there are many benefits from this truefaced journey that we have chosen to go on. One treasure that I have learned to appreciate is that in order to step forward, I must embrace truth.
Truth has not always been my friend, so this new relationship that I am developing with truth is new and exciting.
It not only gives me strength and hope, but also joy.
When I once looked at problems and saw only a dead end , I now find that the same kind of problem will arise and I see a path. It is a narrow path, so narrow that I am totally unsure I can make it . Just the same , I am rejoicing that I now see what I had not been able to see before.
I think it has to do with a desire to know truth.
I think I must have wanted to know truth or I would not have bought the book titled, Truefaced .

2006-10-17T17:14:00.000-07:00

How are you doing without a hiding style ? Hiding styles are not obvious . David asked for truth in his inward parts. Am I suggesting that he realized that he had been using a hiding style ? Yes, I am. A once close relationship now distant would give David a clue that something was not right. Rather than just say, "I won't do it again," he asked for truth in his inward parts. Rightly knowing that he needed discernment from the HOLY SPIRIT as to why he had fallen into sin.
It came to me quite by accident that conviction does not always mean conviction of a sin. It could mean conviction of a truth.
Being convicted of a truth would be much more than just knowing a truth. Conviction of a truth would be a truth that the HOLY SPIRIT had revealed.
So would be truth in the inward parts. Our fall into sin is the belief of a lie. So to have truth revealed would be what would be needed to end acting out on the sin. The forgiveness of the sin is of course , quite another thing.
That is grace and grace alone.
I consider the mere fact that He takes the time to reveal my hiding styles to me a great gift. He doesn't have to , you know. Yet because I ask, He graciously reveals them to me.
Now I await His graciousness to reveal how I am to live without them.
They are not easily disposed of like a pack of cigarettes. When I abstain from one, another appears in it's place , and then another. Each one entreating me more than the former, daring me to lose my focus and give in.
My personal struggles might not be of interest to you if you do not have these particular styles of hiding to overcome.
Because I long to meet someone who has come this road before and made it, just a little farther than I have, I continue to write.

Addiction. I mentioned before the approval seeking child style. That is a form of addiction. Addiction takes on many forms and can slyly work it's way into my life. Having seen it take over so many times before I have been watching with interest this new development of more opportunities to gather together for Christian fellowship. Not that anything could be wrong with that. However, to the addict , it could become a drug that eases pain , rather than the intent that the HOLY SPIRIT had in mind for the gatherings.
I want to share with you some information that the HOLY SPIRIT led me to , today.
While I am talking to you about addiction and it's causes, I want to remind you from where we stand.
In our book Truefaced by Thrall, McNicol,and Lynch , I am blessed to be able to read of others who are making their way on this same road I travel. One in which they have learned/are learning to trust God with our sin. A diagram,Working on My Sin Issues with an arrow under it. Then these words Trusting Who God Says I Am with an arrow under those words as well. Tells you I expect not to end my problem with addiction myself. I belong to God. He and I will work on my sin issues, but I will stay in a place of safety, already established for me. I am redeemed by the blood of the LAMB that was slain ,for me.
Addiction & Grace by Gerald G. May, M.D. has these words of knowledge for me.
Temptation is the starting point of addiction. I quote him now, Whether we see it simply as our biological capacity to become attached , or as a seduction by dark external forces, or both, temptation is always the first step. (highlights mine)
The fact that he saw that our (we addicts) bodies crave attachment and that it is not just an emotional state . That the biological parts of our bodies become involved as well, gave me hope that this guy might really know what he is talking about.
I offer you other nuggets I found in his book. One that I was already aware of , Christ does not want to become another object of attachment.
You can not have a relationship with a bottle of booze, although I know many who do, have a shallow relationship, I guess you would call it. It is there. It eases pain. For some that is only kind of relationship one knows how to have. They are stuck there. When they try to relate to people instead of booze, they want them to be there, they want them to ease their pain. When you try to put that onto Jesus , He does not allow it.
Sure , He is there. Sure He will ease your pain, but will you now treat Him like you do that bottle ?
It is not that we should not have attachments, but it is how you attach that makes the difference you see.
And this is as far as we go.
I do not know what the right kind of attachment looks like.
I have never done it. Never seen it. Only know it must exist because I am reading about it in Mays book. Also Townsend's book Hiding From Love gives ideas that some have found help for this dilemma that I now face.
He offers hope to those who are in the habit of hiding from healthy attachment. He gives a clue to the source problem when he lists the many styles of hiding. He says , first , hiding styles are a "road map" to our developmental needs. Our protective patterns help point out to us what it is they're keeping safe. They give us valuable information about what's behind the door they're guarding. This knowledge can help us learn if we're defending a broken trusting part, an injured will, a hurt imperfect self, or a bruised authority need.Once we're pointed in the direction of knowing what's wrong, we can begin to plan for repair.
For the addictive-compulsive style he has this to say, defensive behavior is : Substitutes need for attachment with some substance or activity in place of people. Recommended steps: Take loneliness to God and others rather than substituting false focus.
Okay, here's the map. Do you have any ideas about how to do this ?

2006-10-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

The Approval Seeking Child. One of my hiding styles, found in Hiding From Love by Dr.John Townsend. Finding a style of hiding is not like finding a sin, however the enemy does tempt me to see if he can make me feel bad about it. I only know that the mere fact that I have been made aware of the problem is evidence of the Holy Spirit in my life. This joy, that our God would be willing to take so much time with me, to un-tangle the mess of my life, gives me strength !
I found this on page 47 Truefaced by Thrall,McNicol,and Lynch,
If my motive is Trusting God,
Then my value will be Living Out of Who God says I am,
And my action will be Standing with God, with My Sin
in front of Us, Working on It Together.
The approval seeking child, of course has an under-ground sin.
For instance ....pride......In that old life of pleasing God , I needed to feel like I was getting rid of the sin for God, before I felt that I could enter His presence. Now I see what a waste of time that was, because He (Jesus) is my redeemer ! He does not share the credit for getting rid of my sins , with me ! He expects nothing but thankfulness for what He has done !

2006-10-09T05:46:00.000-07:00

Grace giving is a delight. I have so long , longed for grace to be given , it is now a delight to have more than enough to give. I explore new arena's all the time. The alcoholic who has fallen off the wagon, "I believe God's grace is sufficient for you. His power is perfected in weakness." The God fearing person who found themselves unable to go it alone, "His grace is sufficient for you !" The person who has just no desire to get up off the couch and do something, "His grace is there for you. Do all that you do , for the glory of God ! Lay there on that couch and believe to give God glory!"

2006-09-17T21:16:00.000-07:00

What to do about the hiding, hurting world around us ? My idea at first was to get as many as I could to read these books and get in a little group that meet online or in my home. The hiding, hurting world around me did not even know that this is,(the hiding) what was wrong. So it has taken me a while to know what if anything can be done to help them. For some reason my safest way to relationships has always been with a book. I can give you some reasons for that , but not really relevant to my point.
I have begun to ask for help from the Holy Spirit to see, when people are really being "the me" that they wish they could be all the time. Those "here is me" times is when I am hoping the Holy Spirit will give me some way to affirm them for being who they are. Sometimes people don't let their real self out until they are at the end of their rope. So the real self is really not going to win a popularity contest right then, but it is who Jesus needs them to be, before He can help them. The hiding , hurting individual that is wanting only to be a good person so Jesus will help them, has probably had a long dry spell since the last time they felt they were in His presence. A grace giving , sin removing , Saviour is Who I know. He is a Just God, He is a Merciful God. Hopefully this hurting , hiding world will be encouraged to come to Him just as they are.

2006-07-27T05:16:00.000-07:00

OVERCOMING THE SHAME OF HIDING
"There is no shame in being poor," I said to my daughter recently. There is no shame in Jesus . As I read through the references on ashamed in the Bible, I see several times in Psalms that David asks to not be ashamed. Several time in the New Testament we are exhorted to not be ashamed. It is almost like it is a decision on our part. To decide to know that we have nothing to be ashamed of. Our past mistakes can bring regret but it does not need to bring shame.
As we read through our book Truefaced Experience the hiding styles we have used in the past begin to become evident. I wonder if anyone is wanting to hide , how they were hiding?
I do not guess you have to make a public statement about how you "were" hiding. The main goal here is to break the habit of hiding and trust God.
I use to have a wonderful mask "called poor." I can not tell you how well this mask has helped me all these years. It has kept me from over indulging the flesh. It has kept me from sinning. I guess I have been absolutely fearful to find out just how I would do if I was not poor. Several times the LORD has opened the door for me to be blessed financially. Yet each time I gave into unbelief and reverted back to my "need" to stay poor. That is not to say, there has not been some improvement as I have gone along.
I think the LORD is challenging me to be ready for an all time break through.
I don't want to be poor because it is "my will" to be poor.
Now if He wants me to be poor, of course that is alright with me.
I hope you can understand that I am only poor in terms of not having any extra money to meet financial needs that come along.
Yet I am so rich in the grace that my LORD Jesus Christ has given me.
So rich in the peace that passeth all understanding.
So rich in LOVE that He pours through me in the Spirit.
So rich in knowing Him. Knowing that if I draw nigh unto Him, He does draw nigh unto me. So very rich in so many things , I almost don't notice that I haven't quite got my paying the bills on time act together.

2006-07-18T23:51:00.000-07:00

Prayer For Serenity
God grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that You will make all things right,
if I surrender to Your will,
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and
supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen
Keeping my expectations of my self at a reasonable level is really difficult for me. That is why I would run a muck so many times before. Because my expectations were higher than the actual work that had been done in me, I would begin faking it.
Still I have to careful to let His expectations to be met. If I hide because He is not done with me yet, what kind of a witness would that be? On the other hand, if I do not hide , and do not fake it, people will know , He is not done with me yet.
How I handle that He is not done with them, is probably going to be the way that they handle that He is not done with me.
How I handle that they are still faking it, is probably the way they would treat me if I was still faking it, or relaspe and start faking it again.
Knowing the difference now, I would so much prefer that straight truth approach. Just lay it out here for me , tell me what you see.
Only most are smart enough to know that you do not see what is in another's eye unless you yourself seem to be bothered by that very thing in your own eye. It is because we can not freely talk about our sins with each other that I think we hide.
If someone talks to me about their sin , I want to be honest with them.
It is sin. However, Jesus never said, "Only you holy folks that don't sin anymore, follow me." He said, "Pick up your cross and follow me." Maybe that means dieing to self . Maybe that means ,follow Him and let everybody know you are still a work in progress.

2006-07-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

When in my flesh I want to do good, I develop all kinds of hiding styles . Realizing there is only ONE GOOD PERSON shakes the ground of my Pleasing God room and makes me want to return to the room of Trusting God. Only by trusting God can I ever hope to be transformed into the son that I am suppose to be . It is by His grace and His grace alone that I can even enter the room . I must trust in His goodness, not mine .
So let me share with you a little more of my anti-goodness found in me . So deceitful is this trait you may want to ponder this for a moment because I doubt any of us "Christians" have never used this hiding style before .
SOAPBOX . Sure getting on your soapbox is a hiding style .
Does getting on your soapbox bring you or others any closer to JESUS ?
It can get so tricky here because there are so many ways to be appearing to do just that , when in fact it is a soapbox that you are on, not a mission for JESUS at all. Then after all is said and done, (there might be a done) you can do the same thing that you were doing before but this time it is not a soapbox but a SPIRIT LED Mission .
In fact this whole blog idea that I had, might have been a soapbox thing from the beginning , however , I believe for the changing power of our LORD JESUS CHRIST to change me .
It is my firm conviction that the only way to change is to step out in faith and trust Him that He has changed me . In other words waiting to blog when the day comes that He has released me from my soapbox style of hiding , is not an option .
So let me share with you what Hiding From Love by Dr.John Townsend says about the soapbox style of hiding . It's defensive behavior is : having an opposite reaction to injured part of soul resulting in passion against others in that area. Recommended step for quitting this kind of style is : Learn to question authority and still feel safe: so it becomes a friend and not an enemy.

2006-06-26T08:15:00.000-07:00

HOW WE REALLY ARE .As I continue on my journey of being "realer" than I was, the road is not smooth . Remember when we read,"people do not want you to be how you really are, they want you to be how they want you to be ?"That is what makes the road so difficult . However, making the change is worth it . For one thing , the things that were important to accomplish , that required the help of your "friends" is no more a priority. If they won't help you do what you are trying to do now, it is okay. Changing from a pleasing God room into a trusting God room also seems to change your life goals .So what you use to need friends for, you don't .
So what do we need friends for ?
Before I needed friends for an assurance that I was pleasing God . How I was doing was indicated by their pleasure in how I served .
Now God tells me that my appearance to Him is based upon my heart .
How I serve, He's looking at my heart .
When I give, my heart.
Four things He cares about, my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength . That is what I am to love Him with .
But do my friends care about my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength ?
They might if I let them see it .
Unfortunately my heart is not pure, my soul is not pure, my mind is not pure and my strength, no it is not purely dependent upon Jesus' strength either . The hardest thing is , to let you know me , and trust God that His grace will be suffiecient for me , even if yours is not .
You see it is His strength that is perfected in my weakness , so it is my weaknesses that I must let show .
I have been wanting to confront this problem of predijuce that I see in my being . However, to reveal such a truth about yourself is so very risky.
"Well, you should not be like that ! Let me pray for you quickly,Oh Lord, help her not be like that." "Thank-you. What about the stuff that has happened in my life that seems to be the building blocks for this predijudce to develop ? Do you think we should talk about it ?"
You can not just stop being like that . God is working in me to help me stop being like that .
Here is the really bad thing , though . When you come to me and I find you are predjuduce , I want you to stop it, right now. I want you to pretend that you are not predjuduce .
So now I have come to the real problem . Not that I can not find friends who will accept me as myself, but how do I accept you, who are predjudce and do not care that you are . I am tolerating you, but I am not loving you. I am wanting to wait and love you when the dark secrets of your heart are exposed and you are at least , sorry.
Surely I am talking to a mature group of the Body of Christ .
You know there are all kinds of predjudce.

2006-06-05T07:45:00.000-07:00

HOW DID HE DO IT ? Do you know this guy David , the one who was known as "a man after God's own heart ?" Now he did not live his entire life without using a mask . There were plenty of times the mask went up however, I think deep inside he knew , he did not have to wear it . Somehow the realness that the God he served would give him grace . There fore he trusted Him . Daily my life reflects whether or not I receive my Lord's grace . It shows up when someone is around . When people are around me , it is not that I have suddenly forgot that I have received God's grace . The people around me have made a choice to receive or not receive His grace . Their individual choice really should not affect me . Except if they do not like me because I have received the grace of God . This seems to be what bothered King Saul . David had God's favor, undeserved , certainly unearned . I am sure David wondered why God chose to make it apparent to King Saul of his grace receiving ability . Perhaps it was to display for Saul that there was a way to repentance , still in his unstable ways . Perhaps there was still hope for Saul and so God placed the one who could witness for Him as close to Saul as He dared so the truth could be seen .
Being able to believe that God has chosen me , to give His grace to is hard . Especially if a few folks rather doubt that I could be that special .
Maybe I will get into heaven alright , but isn't God just putting up with me ? After all look at all the mistakes I keep making . Perhaps the majority rules . Surely God likes the brothers out there in the field who work hard all the time and never stop to party , more than He likes me .
Maybe I had better look like them so they will like me . Once again, a mask appears , I am not where I was with God , but I am sure He won't mind . Doesn't He want me to get along ?
You know there was a time that I would have condemned myself for putting on the mask again . However, today I am thankful that I did not want to have the mask up and maybe by the grace of God I will do better next time . There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus and His love covers me .

2006-05-28T04:20:00.000-07:00

Identity : Subject title in the guidebook. Go to view my profile and then click Truefaced Guidebook to be able to follow along with the questions.

2006-05-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

An Important Part : This book that we are reading together gives us enlightenment and encouragement that helps us dare to be real, with God and others. As we realize what behavior patterns we have developed that work well for hiding how we really feel. When we are able to trust God that how we really feel is not who He says we really are, we dare to take off our masks. Having an awareness that we are accepted, as we are also brings such a reality, that it is the same for others.
Your stuff that you thought would be just , way to much for God to put up with, you find out the truth. No, it is not to much, and , He isn't even thinking ,put up with, He is thinking, I've got it covered, no problem. So it is for others. Their stuff that they are hiding, now you know, it would be so good if they knew, God really loves them like they are. And you know that they do not know that because , they do not seem to know that God loves you, (me) just as I am. My sins He forgives . He really, really,really does. I think that was one of things Job changed after he was restored. You know at the first he was offering up sacrifices all the time for the sins of his family. The Bible doesn't say he did that any more after he was restored. He must have gotten the message, our sins are covered. This line of thought may seem irrelevant to you , unless you are aware that others around you, do sin.
Just what are you suppose to do then ? First place to go would be to realize, their sins are covered, (although the personal choice to accept the covering is up to them.) Next thing would be to realize their sins can't make you lose your salvation. Although it seems to rob us of our joy sometimes. Which is why this little talk about this. Our joy is in our salvation. So why do I lose my joy ? Is it that I haven't learned what Job learned ? Is it that I haven't really understood the sacrifice Jesus made for me on the cross ? Our Guidebook Question about the story of Cain and Abel has really been brought into a new light for me. As I see I do worry about other people's sins, to the point of distraction. As I see other people worry about my sins, to the point of their distraction. Please Heavenly Father, restore unto us the JOY of Thy Salvation. Thank-you for salvation. Thank-you for the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ . Thank-you for His power that can bring every one of my thoughts into the obedience of Christ.

2006-05-06T16:38:00.000-07:00

Zeal...zeal...whose got the zeal ?And is it for real ? I know, it rhymes, I think it is called taking literary license. In place of real, put ....is it the kind of zeal that God promotes or produces ? Surely we are not to be without zeal ,but like everything else it needs to be submitted to God. I got bonked on the head this past week. Not by a person, by my hand held hair dryer that was up on a shelf with the cord dangling down. I unknowingly yanked it down on my head. It didn't hurt. Just enough to get my attention. I wondered if telling that people want to bonk people on the head was bad. Then I thought no. Ever notice how many women in the secular T.V. shows go around hitting guys and gals on the head ? I think people may be beginning to take it for granted that it is okay to do that. Sometimes when people make choices that seem to come from a lack of caring whether their choice really is sensible, I suppose wanting to bonk them on the head is kind of a knee jerk reaction . However, how much good does it do ? The real hard question though is , what could you do instead that would do some good ? I think pictures. I could just envision a person doing something stupid and this other person come and bonk them on the head, and then........Yah, the stupid person bonk them back. Oh that would make a good Christian event. I know the person who said, I would bonk them on the head , wasn't serious, but the point is , I don't think she or I know what to do instead. My first thought is bring out the Bible and start reading scripture. If you are at a Christian function that ought to go over good. Then I thought of possible " scripture fights " like you know, I've heard some of these groups love a good debate and argue their point of view to the finish. I am not that kind of person. I think I would read the scripture and then close the meeting. Go home. Come back when you are ready to do it this way. I invited you in, I can ask you to leave. So much for the head bonking.
How do you know if your "zeal" is "right" ? Do you go with the faith that you have a right heart and therefore all you do is going to be right ? No, see I don't think so , because I think this problem with the zeal is why the Psalmist gave this one, about "except the LORD build the house, he who buildeth , buildeth in vain. " "Except the LORD watch the city, the watchman watcheth but in vain."
I think you can do all the right things and really mess up. I have an idea that I am suppose to do something. Actually several somethings. I am really spending some time inviting the LORD to come and build it. I have spent so many years trying to do right and seeing it fall flat down, you can not imagine all the houses I have seen fall down. LORD, You and You alone are going to make this one rise, and I will be behind You , 100% because , wow.....I have a lot of zeal.