Truefaced

2007-11-13T05:28:00.000-08:00

HOW DO YOU KNOW ME ? I find it interesting that I want to be known .

What I am really saying is I want to be understood . One of my major concerns has been , will the Lord say , He knows me ? The quest to know Him is all so obvious, but how do you gage that He knows you ?

Then I got it ! Who understands me ? How do I know He understands me ? Jesus , through the Holy Spirit leads me to read scripture and inspire me to apply it to my life. Only someone who knows me would know what particular scripture would most fit my life for each day. Only someone who knows me intimately would be able to guide me to just happen to talk to the right person at just the right time and glean some wisdom or encouragement from them that would assure me , that yes, I am on the right path. Or sometimes , correct in a way that I know only He could have shown them how to do it so lovingly.

I still struggle with being able to talk to people . The more confident I am that He knows me and loves me unconditionally, the braver I become to letting others know me. I am kind of hard to understand. I think pictures and I talk about the pictures I see. I don't have a lot of little stories to tell like most folks do. My family did not promote story telling nor take time to enjoy the small things in life. I am learning now how to watch for stories as they happen. This is an ice breaker people use to form friendships and then, they will get to know you, maybe.

2007-10-27T16:06:00.000-07:00

Here is what I found this afternoon, while admitting to my Father that in my flesh is no good thing. I told Him that if I suppress the flesh I quench the Spirit, but if I just let the flesh go and be it's self I am not sure He likes that either , so I with draw.

I told Him I guess He could look at the work that He's done and then I had an idea, maybe because He is God and can do anything, maybe He could just leave what was left to do and not worry about it.

Must of made sense to Him because I picked up my book Hiding From Love and here is what I read.

When we're attacked because of our hiding patterns-by others or ourselves-we simply hold them more tightly. If our defenses are our only friends, we will go down with them rather than abandon them and risk re-injury. It takes the warm light of grace and safety, with honest truthfulness, to help us outgrow our concealment's.

I have a friend who does very obvious things that repulse me . My first reaction is " this can not be a man that loves me. Just no way does he even respect me or appreciate anything I do for him."
Then my gut feeling is that he is suffering from a terrible terrible spirit of rejection that will not let him be accepted. When he thinks he might be accepted he flings himself into the fire "so to speak " so he will be totally right. He is rejected, he is repulsive, he knew it all along.

So I have to bring him the warm light of grace and safety, with honest truthfulness, to help him outgrow his desire to conceal the real him, who might really be liked, he might really be loved, he might really be okay. Yeah, he might have a whole lot of flesh left and only a little of the new nature formed in him from Christ Jesus. But maybe God just looks at the work He has done and says, "that's okay, we'll worry about the rest another day."

Better to not quench the Spirit I think. What if the lady at the well had not told her fellow villagers about the man who promised to give living water because of her fleshly problems ? A few people here and there can change history. They are all important.

2007-06-27T04:25:00.000-07:00

The Truefaced journey has been most helpful.
Even if I can not always be able to let my true face be shown to people around me. The practice or the intent to do so has ever so much increased. With that, grace has increased. If I have a time when the mask came on , I receive His grace. Then He (our LORD) helps me take it off again.
I try not to compare myself with others.
That way it does not matter if someone else is able to be true faced more than I . Should you want to point how someone else is doing, I hope to be able to say, " Really, I never noticed. "
I try to be open to God's word.
That means instead of running to my usual mask, I am willing to hear from the Holy Spirit a voice of Truth. Further explanation, a reminder from the Holy Spirit what God's word from the Holy Bible has to say about what is going on in my life.
I am trying to stand on my own two feet.
This takes some doing , and I am not solidly sure this can ever be done alone.
Because the word says , let there be two or three witnesses.
However, I am learning to stand, (praise God, I am not alone.)
I believe that I am already forgiven.
I do not have to do some penance or hope to do better next time , to earn forgiveness. This has also affected the way that I relate to people. I realize that they also are forgiven.

2007-04-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

My journey has taken a new turn. There is now a group. Three, a group. Once you read (click here) this excerpt from my other blog you will know that I am so totally unsure if the group will remain or disband. It will remain by one tremendous miracle (that I am hoping for) THE GRACE OF GOD.
If you have watched the DVD or read the guidebook you know that John Lynch is still not all perfect. He is not even trying to say he is perfect. He is not even trying to say that he has now removed his masks and now so should you. He is not even suggesting that he has managed to end all of hiding styles.
I knew all of this before I asked my friends if they would go on this journey with me. I figured if they liked him, then surely they would put up with me. Then one announces , she really does not like him. I became sure then she would not like me and so announced the whole thing to the group, and can you see, Truefaced groups really need prayer to receive the grace that God is willing to extend to them.
I have now realized that I to was trying to throw away the gift of acceptance that was trying to be given to me.
It has been very hard but I want you to know that God has been preparing me for this very day. In my journey I have many times visited this site (click here) and found the stories being shared there so fit in with my life today. However when they were going on and on about Philemon I really was not sure how to relate to it. Until, I began to see, when this group was formed, I now was possibly Philemon, if I could only believe.
Because of that I am quite sure He will give me another chance .
Also because I watched the Vegetales Jonah video and they sing it so beautifully, "He is a God of second chances." Oh, did I mention that I have decided that it is okay to stay childlike in my faith ? I do not know how that will work when I have to mature into being able to love, but I will work on that later.

2007-03-11T06:01:00.000-07:00

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
guidance- his disciplined love Hebrews 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
truth- God's instructional love Psalm 33:4 For the word of the LORD [is] right; and all his works [are done] in truth. Psalm 119:160 Thy word [is] true [from] the beginning: and every one of thy righteous judgments [endureth] for ever. Hebrews 6:18 That by two immutable things, in which [it was] impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us:

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for protection- God's jealous love Exodus 34:14-15 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name [is] Jealous, [is] a jealous God:Lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they go a whoring after their gods, and do sacrifice unto their gods, and [one] call thee, and thou eat of his sacrifice; Hosea 11:1-12 When Israel [was] a child, then I loved him, and called my son out of Egypt. [As] they called them, so they went from them: they sacrificed unto Baalim ,and burned incense to graven images. I taught Ephraim also to go, taking them by their arms; but they knew not that I healed them. I drew them with cords of a man, with bands of love: and I was to them as they that take off the yoke on their jaws, and I laid meat unto them. He shall not return into the land of Egypt, but the Assyrian shall be his king, because they refused to return. And the sword shall abide on his cities, and shall consume his branches, and devour [them], because of their own counsels. And my people are bent to backsliding from me: though they called them to the most High, none at all would exalt [him]. How shall I give thee up, Ephraim? [how] shall I deliver thee, Israel? how shall I make thee as Admah? [how] shall I set thee as Zeboim? mine heart is turned within me, my repentings are kindled together. I will not execute the fierceness of mine anger, I will not return to destroy Ephraim: for I [am] God, and not man; the Holy One in the midst of thee: and I will not enter into the city. They shall walk after the LORD: he shall roar like a lion: when he shall roar, then the children shall tremble from the west. They shall tremble as a bird out of Egypt, and as a dove out of the land of Assyria: and I will place them in their houses, saith the LORD. Ephraim compasseth me about with lies, and the house of Israel with deceit: but Judah yet ruleth with God, and is faithful with the saints.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
significance- God's affirming love I Timothy 1:12 And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry;

2007-03-09T04:38:00.000-08:00

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
acceptance-God's unearned love Romans 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
security-God's committed love Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD thy God in the midst of thee [is] mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
trust-God's faithful love Lamentations 3:32-33 But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have drawn you with loving kindness." (NASB)

2007-03-09T04:18:00.000-08:00

The first step in receiving the gift of love is to understand that we have needs. Once we believe that , we are ready for step two.
Step two:I realize that having my needs met is experiencing LOVE. Every day we need to be loved. Every day our God is committed to meeting our needs for
attention-his servant love John 13:5-20 After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe [them] with the towel wherewith he was girded.Then cometh he to Simon Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet?Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.Simon Peter saith unto him, Lord, not my feet only, but also [my] hands and [my] head.Jesus saith to him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash [his] feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean, but not all. For he knew who should betray him; therefore said he, Ye are not all clean. So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for [so] I am. If I then, [your] Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them. I speak not of you all: I know whom I have chosen: but that the scripture may be fulfilled, He that eateth bread with me hath lifted up his heel against me. Now I tell you before it come, that, when it is come to pass, ye may believe that I am [he]. Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that receiveth whomsoever I send receiveth me; and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.

2007-03-09T04:02:00.000-08:00

As I move into chapter 4 of Truefaced Experience I am finding the subject matter very relevant to my life right now.
It has been my earlier experiences of spiritual growth to meditate on God's word. The truth , be transformed by the renewing of your mind, became real to me after I read the book Hinds Feet in High Places, the third time. When I began reading that book I felt so connected to Much Afraid. I could not love, not even have a human love it seemed. I was so miserable . As I read the story written by Hannah Hurnard it projected hope for me that somehow Love could be a fruit in me. A seed was planted in Much Afraid's heart and she took off on a journey. It was the only hope I had . The promise seemed there for me in God's word, be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, so off I went.
Later I learned the importance of allowing the Holy Spirit be involved in the promise. I do not regret meditating on God's word. I just know that it wasn't until I started letting the Holy Spirit rain on that word, that change began to take effect in my life.
Now there are promises that come with this chapter in our books that I want to meditate on , and allow the Holy Spirit do it's work in me. As I prepare a new post, it will show above this one but I hope it will be helpful to others on this journey. Please take the time to print the scriptures out and ask the Holy Spirit to make them real to your heart. If these fellows were inspired by the Holy Spirit when they wrote this book we should together receive confirmation. Not just go along nodding our heads, but know it in our hearts.

2007-02-18T17:52:00.000-08:00

Why I Hide.....It is a wonder to me that I still have times that are difficult to come out and face the LORD. I really appreciate the Holy Spirit being able to cause this longing for close intimacy with Him. It prompts me to start trying to figure out why I am hiding, again.
So is all I do is say, "Lord, why am I hiding ?" Not exactly, it is a place to start though. He speaks to me in His word. Today I just tried to dialogue the best I could about what I was feeling.
I began to realize that I was not quite sure how He was feeling about how I was feeling.
Now this is what comes from being raised to always think you were suppose to know what other people were feeling .
It is so hard to stop thinking of God as a person. However, it is becoming easier to know that He is so much better than any person. He would not expect me to guess what He's feeling and do something to make Him feel better.
However I thought, I wonder if He would let me know how He is feeling about what I have been telling Him.
Well, He talks to me in His Word , so I put my Kleenex aside and pulled my Bible to me. I have these pages in the back that is titled, God's answers to man's concerns. So I started looking down the list to see if any of them sounded like my concern. I started reading the different scriptures and began to think if there were any similarities there between those people and me.
Sure enough I came upon a place that sounded like me.
You know people expressed their feelings to Jesus back in those Bible days.
Others told Him how they felt all through the Bible.
Jesus may have been rough and gruff and to the point on many occasions.
But He was also sensitive and caring about people and how situations had caused them to feel. He did not back off and say, "Hey ,look me up when you are through crying." Point being, I do not have to hide from Him anymore.
I maybe very disappointed about some current events that has taken place, to the point of crying.
However, once I felt sure I did not need to hide my tears from Him , that He cared and He understood why I was so disappointed. I sure felt better.
I don't want to hide from Him and I feel sure that you do not want to either.
If I can help you in anyway on your journey, just drop me an e-mail.
Sometimes just having a human ear to hear helps, especially one that knows
Jesus Cares.

2007-01-13T05:11:00.000-08:00

What I Believe. It began with my believing that Jesus would really want to talk to me. Now this does not happen for everyone. Only a few people actually believe that Jesus really wants to know us. There are many who believe that Jesus wants us to be good. That He is happy when we are good. There are many that believe that if we are good , good things will happen to us. Just how many of those people actually believe that He wants to know them in a personal way ?
Some where in that mob of people ,there may be people who also believe this. However, I see it as more important than the other. It keeps coming back and haunting me when I begin to become active in the church community. I think, okay, I know He does not want me to just sit around on my hands, but how come every time I begin to become active , He asks me to sit down again ? Am I not to do anything ? Did He not say, Be a light unto the world ? How am I to be a light , if I sit down all the time and never do anything ?
Years of living in the mob has undoubtedly had it's toll on me. For once I knew there was no other great thing to do but commune with Jesus. Now I have a sense of urgency for the captive and the lost . Yet when I get up to help them, I lose what I had because I fall into their idea, Jesus is happy when I am good. Jesus will repay me with good things when I am good.
I sit down again and I wait.
I wait on His Word to speak life into this dead body.
I come alive when He speaks.
I live when He talks.
I give out of what He gives me, not what I have.
I speak words of praise to Him.
I must let Him know me.
I must give Him opportunity to speak to my whole person.
I must have an abundance before I try to share it ? Or atleast the faith of mustard seed that can see what I give multiply to feed thousands if need be.
However the greatest of these is LOVE, He said.
How can I get this LOVE to give ? By letting Him know me and LOVE me first.

2006-12-16T07:40:00.000-08:00

Walking On Ice. If I were to come upon a body of water frozen over , I might speculate the possibilities of crossing over to the other side by indeed walking on the ice. There would be much to consider and if any doubt of the ice's durability to hold me up, I am quite sure I would take a different route. Should I choose to start across I would be watching for signs of this being a good or bad choice.
So it is with relationships. Open my heart, give you my trust, let myself love you with unconditional surrender, Ice Walking.
The dunk being : unloved in return ? No. The dunk being : love not honored and cherished.
I the unloving one for so long have found that entering into the room of grace provides one most fantastic benefit.
You can be loved ! You can dare to love if you choose.
Now loved , my heart's desire is for other suffering souls to escape the emotional prisons they now live in and find the joy of this room of grace. I must hope that our Father will reveal His love to them using many ways. As I try to allow myself to be used in His plan I find myself on thin ice and quickly retreating to safe ground.
That is okay though. I do not give up , because He does not give up on me. Yes, it is true ! He never gives up on me.

2006-11-07T07:20:00.000-08:00

The Most Important Thing. I have to check every day to make sure I haven't lost the most important thing. You would think that by now I would know if I have it or not. However, I don't know, without checking.
It comes in a wave of understanding when my prayers become mostly petitions. It is great that I have such a desire to see the LORD help others but wait,
have I lost the most important thing ?
Yet my petitions to help others are weighty and will their needs still get met if I step aside and check to see, do I still have the most important thing ?
When once I decide I must check , or else I'll be doing this all in vain. I realize just how truthful that thought was , when I find, I need this most important thing in order for all my petitions to mean anything. They will be lost in the wind if I do not have this most important thing , so I must stop my mind from running a muck with please help .........and please help .......
I must stop and wait for the HOLY SPIRIT .
I must give Him opportunity to give me words of thanksgiving.
I must wait and let Him open my heart with thoughts of praise and worship.
Or I've lost it, the most important thing.

2006-10-24T05:54:00.000-07:00

To Love Truth......As you already know there are many benefits from this truefaced journey that we have chosen to go on. One treasure that I have learned to appreciate is that in order to step forward, I must embrace truth.
Truth has not always been my friend, so this new relationship that I am developing with truth is new and exciting.
It not only gives me strength and hope, but also joy.
When I once looked at problems and saw only a dead end , I now find that the same kind of problem will arise and I see a path. It is a narrow path, so narrow that I am totally unsure I can make it . Just the same , I am rejoicing that I now see what I had not been able to see before.
I think it has to do with a desire to know truth.
I think I must have wanted to know truth or I would not have bought the book titled, Truefaced .

2006-10-17T17:14:00.000-07:00

How are you doing without a hiding style ? Hiding styles are not obvious . David asked for truth in his inward parts. Am I suggesting that he realized that he had been using a hiding style ? Yes, I am. A once close relationship now distant would give David a clue that something was not right. Rather than just say, "I won't do it again," he asked for truth in his inward parts. Rightly knowing that he needed discernment from the HOLY SPIRIT as to why he had fallen into sin.
It came to me quite by accident that conviction does not always mean conviction of a sin. It could mean conviction of a truth.
Being convicted of a truth would be much more than just knowing a truth. Conviction of a truth would be a truth that the HOLY SPIRIT had revealed.
So would be truth in the inward parts. Our fall into sin is the belief of a lie. So to have truth revealed would be what would be needed to end acting out on the sin. The forgiveness of the sin is of course , quite another thing.
That is grace and grace alone.
I consider the mere fact that He takes the time to reveal my hiding styles to me a great gift. He doesn't have to , you know. Yet because I ask, He graciously reveals them to me.
Now I await His graciousness to reveal how I am to live without them.
They are not easily disposed of like a pack of cigarettes. When I abstain from one, another appears in it's place , and then another. Each one entreating me more than the former, daring me to lose my focus and give in.
My personal struggles might not be of interest to you if you do not have these particular styles of hiding to overcome.
Because I long to meet someone who has come this road before and made it, just a little farther than I have, I continue to write.

Addiction. I mentioned before the approval seeking child style. That is a form of addiction. Addiction takes on many forms and can slyly work it's way into my life. Having seen it take over so many times before I have been watching with interest this new development of more opportunities to gather together for Christian fellowship. Not that anything could be wrong with that. However, to the addict , it could become a drug that eases pain , rather than the intent that the HOLY SPIRIT had in mind for the gatherings.
I want to share with you some information that the HOLY SPIRIT led me to , today.
While I am talking to you about addiction and it's causes, I want to remind you from where we stand.
In our book Truefaced by Thrall, McNicol,and Lynch , I am blessed to be able to read of others who are making their way on this same road I travel. One in which they have learned/are learning to trust God with our sin. A diagram,Working on My Sin Issues with an arrow under it. Then these words Trusting Who God Says I Am with an arrow under those words as well. Tells you I expect not to end my problem with addiction myself. I belong to God. He and I will work on my sin issues, but I will stay in a place of safety, already established for me. I am redeemed by the blood of the LAMB that was slain ,for me.
Addiction & Grace by Gerald G. May, M.D. has these words of knowledge for me.
Temptation is the starting point of addiction. I quote him now, Whether we see it simply as our biological capacity to become attached , or as a seduction by dark external forces, or both, temptation is always the first step. (highlights mine)
The fact that he saw that our (we addicts) bodies crave attachment and that it is not just an emotional state . That the biological parts of our bodies become involved as well, gave me hope that this guy might really know what he is talking about.
I offer you other nuggets I found in his book. One that I was already aware of , Christ does not want to become another object of attachment.
You can not have a relationship with a bottle of booze, although I know many who do, have a shallow relationship, I guess you would call it. It is there. It eases pain. For some that is only kind of relationship one knows how to have. They are stuck there. When they try to relate to people instead of booze, they want them to be there, they want them to ease their pain. When you try to put that onto Jesus , He does not allow it.
Sure , He is there. Sure He will ease your pain, but will you now treat Him like you do that bottle ?
It is not that we should not have attachments, but it is how you attach that makes the difference you see.
And this is as far as we go.
I do not know what the right kind of attachment looks like.
I have never done it. Never seen it. Only know it must exist because I am reading about it in Mays book. Also Townsend's book Hiding From Love gives ideas that some have found help for this dilemma that I now face.
He offers hope to those who are in the habit of hiding from healthy attachment. He gives a clue to the source problem when he lists the many styles of hiding. He says , first , hiding styles are a "road map" to our developmental needs. Our protective patterns help point out to us what it is they're keeping safe. They give us valuable information about what's behind the door they're guarding. This knowledge can help us learn if we're defending a broken trusting part, an injured will, a hurt imperfect self, or a bruised authority need.Once we're pointed in the direction of knowing what's wrong, we can begin to plan for repair.
For the addictive-compulsive style he has this to say, defensive behavior is : Substitutes need for attachment with some substance or activity in place of people. Recommended steps: Take loneliness to God and others rather than substituting false focus.
Okay, here's the map. Do you have any ideas about how to do this ?

2006-10-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

The Approval Seeking Child. One of my hiding styles, found in Hiding From Love by Dr.John Townsend. Finding a style of hiding is not like finding a sin, however the enemy does tempt me to see if he can make me feel bad about it. I only know that the mere fact that I have been made aware of the problem is evidence of the Holy Spirit in my life. This joy, that our God would be willing to take so much time with me, to un-tangle the mess of my life, gives me strength !
I found this on page 47 Truefaced by Thrall,McNicol,and Lynch,
If my motive is Trusting God,
Then my value will be Living Out of Who God says I am,
And my action will be Standing with God, with My Sin
in front of Us, Working on It Together.
The approval seeking child, of course has an under-ground sin.
For instance ....pride......In that old life of pleasing God , I needed to feel like I was getting rid of the sin for God, before I felt that I could enter His presence. Now I see what a waste of time that was, because He (Jesus) is my redeemer ! He does not share the credit for getting rid of my sins , with me ! He expects nothing but thankfulness for what He has done !

2006-10-09T05:46:00.000-07:00

Grace giving is a delight. I have so long , longed for grace to be given , it is now a delight to have more than enough to give. I explore new arena's all the time. The alcoholic who has fallen off the wagon, "I believe God's grace is sufficient for you. His power is perfected in weakness." The God fearing person who found themselves unable to go it alone, "His grace is sufficient for you !" The person who has just no desire to get up off the couch and do something, "His grace is there for you. Do all that you do , for the glory of God ! Lay there on that couch and believe to give God glory!"

2006-09-17T21:16:00.000-07:00

What to do about the hiding, hurting world around us ? My idea at first was to get as many as I could to read these books and get in a little group that meet online or in my home. The hiding, hurting world around me did not even know that this is,(the hiding) what was wrong. So it has taken me a while to know what if anything can be done to help them. For some reason my safest way to relationships has always been with a book. I can give you some reasons for that , but not really relevant to my point.
I have begun to ask for help from the Holy Spirit to see, when people are really being "the me" that they wish they could be all the time. Those "here is me" times is when I am hoping the Holy Spirit will give me some way to affirm them for being who they are. Sometimes people don't let their real self out until they are at the end of their rope. So the real self is really not going to win a popularity contest right then, but it is who Jesus needs them to be, before He can help them. The hiding , hurting individual that is wanting only to be a good person so Jesus will help them, has probably had a long dry spell since the last time they felt they were in His presence. A grace giving , sin removing , Saviour is Who I know. He is a Just God, He is a Merciful God. Hopefully this hurting , hiding world will be encouraged to come to Him just as they are.

2006-07-27T05:16:00.000-07:00

OVERCOMING THE SHAME OF HIDING
"There is no shame in being poor," I said to my daughter recently. There is no shame in Jesus . As I read through the references on ashamed in the Bible, I see several times in Psalms that David asks to not be ashamed. Several time in the New Testament we are exhorted to not be ashamed. It is almost like it is a decision on our part. To decide to know that we have nothing to be ashamed of. Our past mistakes can bring regret but it does not need to bring shame.
As we read through our book Truefaced Experience the hiding styles we have used in the past begin to become evident. I wonder if anyone is wanting to hide , how they were hiding?
I do not guess you have to make a public statement about how you "were" hiding. The main goal here is to break the habit of hiding and trust God.
I use to have a wonderful mask "called poor." I can not tell you how well this mask has helped me all these years. It has kept me from over indulging the flesh. It has kept me from sinning. I guess I have been absolutely fearful to find out just how I would do if I was not poor. Several times the LORD has opened the door for me to be blessed financially. Yet each time I gave into unbelief and reverted back to my "need" to stay poor. That is not to say, there has not been some improvement as I have gone along.
I think the LORD is challenging me to be ready for an all time break through.
I don't want to be poor because it is "my will" to be poor.
Now if He wants me to be poor, of course that is alright with me.
I hope you can understand that I am only poor in terms of not having any extra money to meet financial needs that come along.
Yet I am so rich in the grace that my LORD Jesus Christ has given me.
So rich in the peace that passeth all understanding.
So rich in LOVE that He pours through me in the Spirit.
So rich in knowing Him. Knowing that if I draw nigh unto Him, He does draw nigh unto me. So very rich in so many things , I almost don't notice that I haven't quite got my paying the bills on time act together.

2006-07-18T23:51:00.000-07:00

Prayer For Serenity
God grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that You will make all things right,
if I surrender to Your will,
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and
supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen
Keeping my expectations of my self at a reasonable level is really difficult for me. That is why I would run a muck so many times before. Because my expectations were higher than the actual work that had been done in me, I would begin faking it.
Still I have to careful to let His expectations to be met. If I hide because He is not done with me yet, what kind of a witness would that be? On the other hand, if I do not hide , and do not fake it, people will know , He is not done with me yet.
How I handle that He is not done with them, is probably going to be the way that they handle that He is not done with me.
How I handle that they are still faking it, is probably the way they would treat me if I was still faking it, or relaspe and start faking it again.
Knowing the difference now, I would so much prefer that straight truth approach. Just lay it out here for me , tell me what you see.
Only most are smart enough to know that you do not see what is in another's eye unless you yourself seem to be bothered by that very thing in your own eye. It is because we can not freely talk about our sins with each other that I think we hide.
If someone talks to me about their sin , I want to be honest with them.
It is sin. However, Jesus never said, "Only you holy folks that don't sin anymore, follow me." He said, "Pick up your cross and follow me." Maybe that means dieing to self . Maybe that means ,follow Him and let everybody know you are still a work in progress.

2006-07-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

When in my flesh I want to do good, I develop all kinds of hiding styles . Realizing there is only ONE GOOD PERSON shakes the ground of my Pleasing God room and makes me want to return to the room of Trusting God. Only by trusting God can I ever hope to be transformed into the son that I am suppose to be . It is by His grace and His grace alone that I can even enter the room . I must trust in His goodness, not mine .
So let me share with you a little more of my anti-goodness found in me . So deceitful is this trait you may want to ponder this for a moment because I doubt any of us "Christians" have never used this hiding style before .
SOAPBOX . Sure getting on your soapbox is a hiding style .
Does getting on your soapbox bring you or others any closer to JESUS ?
It can get so tricky here because there are so many ways to be appearing to do just that , when in fact it is a soapbox that you are on, not a mission for JESUS at all. Then after all is said and done, (there might be a done) you can do the same thing that you were doing before but this time it is not a soapbox but a SPIRIT LED Mission .
In fact this whole blog idea that I had, might have been a soapbox thing from the beginning , however , I believe for the changing power of our LORD JESUS CHRIST to change me .
It is my firm conviction that the only way to change is to step out in faith and trust Him that He has changed me . In other words waiting to blog when the day comes that He has released me from my soapbox style of hiding , is not an option .
So let me share with you what Hiding From Love by Dr.John Townsend says about the soapbox style of hiding . It's defensive behavior is : having an opposite reaction to injured part of soul resulting in passion against others in that area. Recommended step for quitting this kind of style is : Learn to question authority and still feel safe: so it becomes a friend and not an enemy.

2006-06-26T08:15:00.000-07:00

HOW WE REALLY ARE .As I continue on my journey of being "realer" than I was, the road is not smooth . Remember when we read,"people do not want you to be how you really are, they want you to be how they want you to be ?"That is what makes the road so difficult . However, making the change is worth it . For one thing , the things that were important to accomplish , that required the help of your "friends" is no more a priority. If they won't help you do what you are trying to do now, it is okay. Changing from a pleasing God room into a trusting God room also seems to change your life goals .So what you use to need friends for, you don't .
So what do we need friends for ?
Before I needed friends for an assurance that I was pleasing God . How I was doing was indicated by their pleasure in how I served .
Now God tells me that my appearance to Him is based upon my heart .
How I serve, He's looking at my heart .
When I give, my heart.
Four things He cares about, my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength . That is what I am to love Him with .
But do my friends care about my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength ?
They might if I let them see it .
Unfortunately my heart is not pure, my soul is not pure, my mind is not pure and my strength, no it is not purely dependent upon Jesus' strength either . The hardest thing is , to let you know me , and trust God that His grace will be suffiecient for me , even if yours is not .
You see it is His strength that is perfected in my weakness , so it is my weaknesses that I must let show .
I have been wanting to confront this problem of predijuce that I see in my being . However, to reveal such a truth about yourself is so very risky.
"Well, you should not be like that ! Let me pray for you quickly,Oh Lord, help her not be like that." "Thank-you. What about the stuff that has happened in my life that seems to be the building blocks for this predijudce to develop ? Do you think we should talk about it ?"
You can not just stop being like that . God is working in me to help me stop being like that .
Here is the really bad thing , though . When you come to me and I find you are predjuduce , I want you to stop it, right now. I want you to pretend that you are not predjuduce .
So now I have come to the real problem . Not that I can not find friends who will accept me as myself, but how do I accept you, who are predjudce and do not care that you are . I am tolerating you, but I am not loving you. I am wanting to wait and love you when the dark secrets of your heart are exposed and you are at least , sorry.
Surely I am talking to a mature group of the Body of Christ .
You know there are all kinds of predjudce.

2006-06-05T07:45:00.000-07:00

HOW DID HE DO IT ? Do you know this guy David , the one who was known as "a man after God's own heart ?" Now he did not live his entire life without using a mask . There were plenty of times the mask went up however, I think deep inside he knew , he did not have to wear it . Somehow the realness that the God he served would give him grace . There fore he trusted Him . Daily my life reflects whether or not I receive my Lord's grace . It shows up when someone is around . When people are around me , it is not that I have suddenly forgot that I have received God's grace . The people around me have made a choice to receive or not receive His grace . Their individual choice really should not affect me . Except if they do not like me because I have received the grace of God . This seems to be what bothered King Saul . David had God's favor, undeserved , certainly unearned . I am sure David wondered why God chose to make it apparent to King Saul of his grace receiving ability . Perhaps it was to display for Saul that there was a way to repentance , still in his unstable ways . Perhaps there was still hope for Saul and so God placed the one who could witness for Him as close to Saul as He dared so the truth could be seen .
Being able to believe that God has chosen me , to give His grace to is hard . Especially if a few folks rather doubt that I could be that special .
Maybe I will get into heaven alright , but isn't God just putting up with me ? After all look at all the mistakes I keep making . Perhaps the majority rules . Surely God likes the brothers out there in the field who work hard all the time and never stop to party , more than He likes me .
Maybe I had better look like them so they will like me . Once again, a mask appears , I am not where I was with God , but I am sure He won't mind . Doesn't He want me to get along ?
You know there was a time that I would have condemned myself for putting on the mask again . However, today I am thankful that I did not want to have the mask up and maybe by the grace of God I will do better next time . There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus and His love covers me .

2006-05-28T04:20:00.000-07:00

Identity : Subject title in the guidebook. Go to view my profile and then click Truefaced Guidebook to be able to follow along with the questions.

2006-05-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

An Important Part : This book that we are reading together gives us enlightenment and encouragement that helps us dare to be real, with God and others. As we realize what behavior patterns we have developed that work well for hiding how we really feel. When we are able to trust God that how we really feel is not who He says we really are, we dare to take off our masks. Having an awareness that we are accepted, as we are also brings such a reality, that it is the same for others.
Your stuff that you thought would be just , way to much for God to put up with, you find out the truth. No, it is not to much, and , He isn't even thinking ,put up with, He is thinking, I've got it covered, no problem. So it is for others. Their stuff that they are hiding, now you know, it would be so good if they knew, God really loves them like they are. And you know that they do not know that because , they do not seem to know that God loves you, (me) just as I am. My sins He forgives . He really, really,really does. I think that was one of things Job changed after he was restored. You know at the first he was offering up sacrifices all the time for the sins of his family. The Bible doesn't say he did that any more after he was restored. He must have gotten the message, our sins are covered. This line of thought may seem irrelevant to you , unless you are aware that others around you, do sin.
Just what are you suppose to do then ? First place to go would be to realize, their sins are covered, (although the personal choice to accept the covering is up to them.) Next thing would be to realize their sins can't make you lose your salvation. Although it seems to rob us of our joy sometimes. Which is why this little talk about this. Our joy is in our salvation. So why do I lose my joy ? Is it that I haven't learned what Job learned ? Is it that I haven't really understood the sacrifice Jesus made for me on the cross ? Our Guidebook Question about the story of Cain and Abel has really been brought into a new light for me. As I see I do worry about other people's sins, to the point of distraction. As I see other people worry about my sins, to the point of their distraction. Please Heavenly Father, restore unto us the JOY of Thy Salvation. Thank-you for salvation. Thank-you for the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ . Thank-you for His power that can bring every one of my thoughts into the obedience of Christ.

2006-05-06T16:38:00.000-07:00

Zeal...zeal...whose got the zeal ?And is it for real ? I know, it rhymes, I think it is called taking literary license. In place of real, put ....is it the kind of zeal that God promotes or produces ? Surely we are not to be without zeal ,but like everything else it needs to be submitted to God. I got bonked on the head this past week. Not by a person, by my hand held hair dryer that was up on a shelf with the cord dangling down. I unknowingly yanked it down on my head. It didn't hurt. Just enough to get my attention. I wondered if telling that people want to bonk people on the head was bad. Then I thought no. Ever notice how many women in the secular T.V. shows go around hitting guys and gals on the head ? I think people may be beginning to take it for granted that it is okay to do that. Sometimes when people make choices that seem to come from a lack of caring whether their choice really is sensible, I suppose wanting to bonk them on the head is kind of a knee jerk reaction . However, how much good does it do ? The real hard question though is , what could you do instead that would do some good ? I think pictures. I could just envision a person doing something stupid and this other person come and bonk them on the head, and then........Yah, the stupid person bonk them back. Oh that would make a good Christian event. I know the person who said, I would bonk them on the head , wasn't serious, but the point is , I don't think she or I know what to do instead. My first thought is bring out the Bible and start reading scripture. If you are at a Christian function that ought to go over good. Then I thought of possible " scripture fights " like you know, I've heard some of these groups love a good debate and argue their point of view to the finish. I am not that kind of person. I think I would read the scripture and then close the meeting. Go home. Come back when you are ready to do it this way. I invited you in, I can ask you to leave. So much for the head bonking.
How do you know if your "zeal" is "right" ? Do you go with the faith that you have a right heart and therefore all you do is going to be right ? No, see I don't think so , because I think this problem with the zeal is why the Psalmist gave this one, about "except the LORD build the house, he who buildeth , buildeth in vain. " "Except the LORD watch the city, the watchman watcheth but in vain."
I think you can do all the right things and really mess up. I have an idea that I am suppose to do something. Actually several somethings. I am really spending some time inviting the LORD to come and build it. I have spent so many years trying to do right and seeing it fall flat down, you can not imagine all the houses I have seen fall down. LORD, You and You alone are going to make this one rise, and I will be behind You , 100% because , wow.....I have a lot of zeal.

2006-05-01T23:18:00.000-07:00

IT WAS THE TRUTH IN LOVE ....OUCH About 25 years ago I was full of zeal, and little else. I was sure serving my Jesus my way without concern for others was all I needed to do. I was sure I was right. The church I was going to backed up what I was doing with scripture found in the Holy Bible. One day someone was shocked at what I was doing and walked over and bopped me in the head. I looked at him in shock, then remembered my Christian values and said, "Here, here is the other cheek." He socked me right in the eye. I had a black eye for a week. It took a long time for the message he was trying to get across that day to sink in. My religious zeal kept all truth from my mind. It is amazing what experience can teach you. How merciful Our Lord is to open the eyes of my heart. A hope of really knowing Jesus kept gnawing at me. I knew a relationship with Jesus could be real, I just wasn't doing something right. However, this fellow had truth but not much love (the kind one has from knowing Jesus ) . He just knew what I was doing wasn't right . He didn't care to live his life as an example of what was right.
Fast forward 25 years later. I meet people full of zeal, just like I was. I meet people who would like to bop those people on the head, if they come around them. I am shocked ! Is head bopping scriptural ? Did Paul ever bop anyone on the head ? Well, the zealous religious people pose a problem. Yeah, I know about that. I was a problem for a long , long time. I still have a lot of zeal. How zeal and a sincere hunger for righteousness got mixed up in the same human, I'll never know. Lord,help me love the zealous person, just like You love me. Lord, help me love potential head boppers, just like I know You love them.

2006-04-23T14:03:00.000-07:00

TESTING ONE TWO THREE, TEST, TEST, In case you are wondering, it is still there, that critical , judgmental self. However, I decided , okay, I messed up again, I am going on. Before long , I actually thought of what I could have done differently and ended with just expecting the Holy Spirit to show this person that there is joy in obedience. Well, something about obedience. Anyway, you would have thought the fellow speaking today at my church had been able to know what had gone on in my head. Several times he said, "I can't be responsible for what someone feels the Holy Spirit is showing them to do." "I am not the Holy Spirit " he said. Oh, I wish I could be around him for awhile. Maybe that attitude would rub off on me.

2006-04-21T00:28:00.000-07:00

Would You Like To Know my purpose ? I have been reading a book that has to do with mask wearing and the fact that Christian's in general have a difficult time being their real selves. I find what he has to say interesting and feel that he has a gift for letting people know "himself". His purpose is to be real ,so you the reader will fear less, and be real too. (My take on it.) He has found out that the real person, is loved by God.
It is not an easy truth to come too. That God loves you, all of you all the way down under all those masks you have ever worn. There are a whole large group of people that find it hard. Mainly because those significant others in their lives, just don't get it. When they dare to be real, out jumps their supposedly loving other and says, "I knew it !" I knew you were not being real and now you've proven it , and look what a mess you are." Basically what they imply is, "do you really think God loves you now ?"
"Well, obviously you might not," would be a good reply if you could get them to be so honest. And the dear saint who is standing there all vulnerable and with out a mask , must believe, "yes, God loves me now." The only way I know to get there is to believe that God's love is not based on our righteous deeds or our righteousness. As long as we think that possibly His love will be snuffed out by our unrighteousness the risk of taking off the mask is going to be to great. What I hope my purpose is , is to stand with you and say, "Yes, He does, God loves you now."
Perhaps the author of this book I am reading is getting this across to his readers. That he dared to be real and found out, God loved him and now you can be encouraged to find this out too.
Only what do you do , if you not only have an inner battle to fight but an outward one as well? What if every time you take a chance to be yourself and someone let's you know, they do not like the real you ? It is hard to be real then isn't it ? Of course, for me , I always knew they would not like me, because I did not like myself. It never surprised me that they would spout off with their critiques because I had been critiquing myself for years.
I just decided recently that it was a waste of time. The self that I would like, would become that way quicker if I would just accept that God loved me and go on. Oh, I do not want to deny the Holy Spirit time to convict me. I don't think that will happen anytime soon. But trying to fix up the self that they did not like so that they will like it, no, I don't have time.So why spend time thinking about it ?
If I hear someone say, "This mask I have been wearing, I want to stop." I want to be ready when it comes off to say, "there you are, God loves you."

2006-04-17T01:58:00.000-07:00

Working on Question 5 over in the Guidebook. (click my profile)
Remember the author of our book saying mask wearer's are often judgmental and critical ? I struggle with that character defect so much and at the same time I also struggle with loving others who have that defect. So there you are, the problem. Still the solving of the problem is not simple. Quite a few blogs back I pictured myself talking to other Elder Brother types who also wanted to stop being like that. The experience of the Elder Brother's in my own life haunt me, and then here am I doing the same as them. Was it Elijah who cried out,
"I am no better than my fore-fathers." It is a grieving awareness, however the godly sorrow I feel brings me hope. This sin is forgivable, it is forgiven. The hope I have, is it being cleansed from my life. The faith I have in God's Word tells me that Jesus overcame all temptations so that I could resist them. Question 5 talks about listening to your guilt and Question 6 talks about when you have been hurt by someone else's sin. It must be an immaturity in me that wants to shout out to God, "make him stop sinning, I am sinning because he is sinning !" Of course I know that is silly ! I know to God it is no funny thing ! I just see how foolish my flesh is. What hope I have is , that the confession of my sin is forgiven and He promises to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. The Word washes us and we are promised , being transformed by the renewing of our minds. Speaking of our minds , I am reminded that I had decided that II Corth 10:5 was not a typographical error in the Bible. That if it said, we can take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, then we must be able to. I have experienced victory in my life in the area of anger. How I came to have this victory was that I learned to understand the thoughts that were prompting the feeling. The feeling of course produced the anger, and I was told recently ,you can stop it there. However, I like my way. I learned to renew my mind with different thoughts, actually true thoughts about similar events that seemed to always produce anger. Now , when those things happen I am not angry but at peace because I know the TRUTH . There are still events that seem to trigger anger but they do not seem to happen often enough for me to get to the root thought. Thus , my friends exhortation "that it is a choice, you can choose not to be angry and line up with God's word. " I do not seem to be able to choose how not to feel. I can choose what to think. The judgmental ,critical attitude that comes , even when I do not want it to, must be akin to anger. It to must have a root thought that needs to be exposed and brought to the light. The light being Truth. Like I found with the anger producing thoughts, they were lies. Not based on the truth at all. Jesus surely will help me come to the Truth. I can boldly ask Him for that.

2006-04-12T19:49:00.000-07:00

Hiding From Love by Dr. John Townsend ...When we're attacked because of our hiding patterns-by others or ourselves- we simply hold them more tightly. If our defenses are our only friends, we will go down with them rather than abandon them and risk reinjury. It takes the warm light of grace and safety, with honest truthfulness,to help us outgrow our concealments.

Let us pray that the LORD will help us see when people are using a hiding pattern as a defense. Let us ask the LORD to help us receive His warm light of grace and safety, with honest truthfulness, to help us outgrow our concealments. That when we have received , we will be able to go and give this same light, grace ,safety and truth to others.

2006-04-10T23:12:00.000-07:00

The Truefaced Experience Guidebook questions and answers can be found by clicking my profile link and then clicking Truefaced Guidebook. Feel free to share your answers in the post a comment or e-mail.

2006-04-07T05:42:00.000-07:00

Building A House Upon A Rock. For about a week I had been feeling as though I was a wad of gum on the floor of a bus terminal. Sure that every person looking at me was doing so with disdain. What happened ? Having truthful friends can sometimes be inconvenient. It is more fun to just go along and not be interrupted with comments such as "that sounds critical and judgmental to me." When I rehearsed with her what I had said, I agreed, that does sound critical and judgmental. One more time my ugly old nature had raised it's head and instead of my being able to say, "I am choosing to do this, for this reason. " Instead I said, "These people are so wrong to do this ,so I am going to do this other thing." The other thing is perfectly alright to do. The being critical and judgmental just isn't . "It is the proof ,that I still have not forgiven those who have been critical and judgmental towards me, " I said. This I had figured out long ago. You can quit doing a sin that you have forgiven others for doing, much easier. Just a personal observation I had made, I know it to hold true in my life. And I know that I still have not forgiven others who have been critical and judgmental of me, although I have tried.
"Why are you so hard on yourself ?" she asked.
That was the redeeming quality of our conversation. It was apparent to me that she was one who understood the grace of God. In her mind it was a wonder that I could not receive His abundant grace for my short comings. It does seem to be in some kind of a grid lock that does not want to give. However, I , realizing to give up IS NOT THE ANSWER , persist and ask the Father again and again to help me forgive those who have trespassed against me.
However, receiving His grace for such unforgiveness , I guess I had just overlooked. I want to talk about it with Him, when I have forgiven them. Not now. Yet as the week went on , I realized, I better talk to Him now.
So I did. Being an ugly wad of gum on the floor of a bus terminal is not a fun place to speak to God. How much better it feels when I picture myself a beautiful rose or even a precious diamond. It is even a joy to view myself as a green blade of grass, waving in the wind with thousands of other blades of grass that send up a sweet aroma and delightful sight to Him. Still, I talked to Him and said, "I know You love me , even when I think I am unlovable. Thank-you. "
So He let me see that this critical , judgmental attitude , is not the abundance of my heart.
It is on it's way out, just not all the way out , yet.
Luke 6:45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

2006-03-22T05:05:00.000-08:00

My favorite Line in Chapter One: As a friend has said when describing her life behind the mask,"The trouble with papier-mache is that it doesn't reflect." TrueFaced page 34

I have a friend whose call is to encourage others to be a light. Not hide their light under a bushel.
She has seen that when she let the light the LORD had given her, just shine what a difference it made in her life. I think it is great that we have paired up. My call is to encourage others that it is a part of God's plan for them to come out from hiding. When we draw nigh unto Him, He does draw nigh unto us.
My friend might not keep her light out 24-7 and I certainly can not keep from hiding from God's love 24-7. However for every moment of Grace that we are given it seems like it is more than we should keep for ourselves. Our LORD's Mercy and Grace is abundant !

The other day I was grieved about judging people. You know how it is. Your mouth may not open but in your heart, you know what you did. When I went to the LORD in prayer about it the first thing that came to my mind was the part of the LORD's prayer, forgive us for our trespasses as we forgive others for when they have trespassed against us. "LORD", I said, "I have tried to forgive these people who have judged me before," then I paused. A similar phrase came to my mind of a time when the disciples were out fishing and Jesus said, "Cast your net out to the other side." Now I know this seems to have no real connection, fishing and forgiving. Except they both are an act of our will. It is just that with fishing , they were throwing out a net and coming up empty. I had been saying for years, LORD I want to forgive these people who have judged me and come up empty. The fruit that showed I had not forgiven them being, that I was still judging others. So the LORD in His mercy gave me a picture, along with this pause to reflect on this story, I saw the ship and the net, and I said to the LORD, "never the less LORD if you say so, I will try one more time."
You know I think that is what He is after. A people who will just not give up. Try one more time at His bidding. Maybe I will still on occasion find myself judging , but we are getting somewhere. My masks are cracking and as I am going back through this book for the second time I am really seeing so much more than I did the first time.
If you are reading it and not getting much out of it. If you are thinking , well, I will read this so I can help others remove their masks, or so I can be more understanding. Good ! Just keep reading. You are so right ! This book will help you , help others.
May God bless you all. It is such a joy to share with you. HIS LIGHT SHINING on me is more to be desired than gold, more precious than silver and more beautiful than diamonds. If you can be a helper that helps others break their masks so they can know of the beautifulness of OUR LORD , please keep reading.

2006-03-19T12:00:00.000-08:00

TRUEFACED EXPERIENCE So how is your truefaced experience going ? My experience is one of greater and greater awareness of the GRACE of God. In my hopes to take off my masks, He showed me more than I ever dreamed possible remained to still come off. I have decided though to continue on. It is a misnomer though for a Christian to think that they will become Christ like ALONE. That won't happen. I never will learn to love with Christ like love if I become a LONE RANGER and just preach from my blog. Actually this blog was started because I thought a group at my church might form and we would go through this book together. Knowing how judgmental I am and how I always have to say something, I thought I'd under a pen name, say my somethings on the blog. Thus sparing them my stuff at meetings. For those who have bought the book and guidebook you can see these group meetings that they suggest are not meetings that require a great ability on anyone's part to lead. It is set up so you just pick a date and time to meet . Greeting people and turning on the TV to play the DVD for a few minutes. Then listening. That was my plan. Talking on the blog. It was a good plan. I thought. And while I was waiting for my pastor to okay the book, I thought I would go ahead and get warmed up with my stuff. My critical judgmental attitude warps my thinking a lot of times. When ever new enlightenment comes it is usually after a fresh awareness of God's Grace and Mercy and a repentance of my judging. However, I am not saying like"repentance :where she doesn't do this anymore." I am saying like "repentance: I can not stop being me please show me how." That must count as repentance, or else it is not the repentance that I get blessed for. Maybe it is because my heart gets broken.
Regardless it is as if oil is poured upon my head and joy of being in His presence floods my soul and hope of His righteousness filling me comes. Then I judge. Oh, usually not to long after that. I just had a quiet afternoon at home. Took a nap. Dreamt a dream, and judged someone in my dream. Oh, I know dreams don't always mean anything, but this one did. It was right, in my heart I have thought a million times "why would she do that ?" Whose business was it ? Not mine. (I have a very dull life. Maybe I just have to judge others because I am interested in what other people do. You think?)
Oh well, the main thing is , that I do not quit going to Him for forgiveness. His mercies are new every morning . The carnal Christian might want to suggest that He is going to get tired of washing my feet. They would be carnal, because there are Christians "believe it or not" that think Christ is limited to human abilities. Of course, no human could bare as long with me as Christ Jesus can, praise Him, praise Him, for Who He is !
Just because there might be some people who would like to go along with me through the guidebook I am going to start a new blog called Truefaced Guidebook. If you go to my personal profile you will find it there. Once you click on it you can mark it as a favorite and you should be able to just go to that and skip, my stuff , if you want to. Stuff over here. Answers to the questions like I would give if we were having a meeting there. Best part you can just go along and I will never know. However, this is the part I hope you hear. I have found, meeting or not, These questions have helped me be honest with God. They have helped me realize that all He has wanted was me, not my good works or words. I have a more meaningful relationship with Christ Jesus today because of someone taking the time to write this up and say,"Hey, guess what I found out, God's love is unconditional, want to see ?"

2006-03-17T05:33:00.000-08:00

Mask Wearing........My emotions gives me messages that I sometimes act on before I think. It is almost by reflex that I find I have once again put on the mask. What I know will help is to find the thoughts that are feeding the emotion. I once was a very angry person. When I started taking the time to learn what I was really thinking at the time of each anger outburst, it became clear that what I was thinking was really a choice. When events did not pan out like I thought they should, realizing my expectations did not have to be fulfilled in order for me to be happy was a great blessing. Because so often I found I had thought that there was only one way for the out come I was hoping for ,I was angry many times for no reason. If it is our Father in Heaven's will for something to be done, He may have a zillion ways of that happening. It is hard for me to quit thinking that these few ideas I have must happen. He is helping me enter into His rest as I place my trust in His Word and believe that He will bring about what He wants done here on earth. Oh yes, I want to say, "just quickly". It may or may not be quickly . However, I am comforted by His words that say, "He will come quickly." Rev 3:11

2006-03-14T05:37:00.000-08:00

Do You Know me ? My most important question of the Lord. I dare not work at letting others know me but miss the most important One of all. Also, it is His answer that always gives me courage to go on ,and give you ,the body of Christ another chance, to know me. Back to my first thought, does He know me ? He does, every time He reminds me of who I am. A small blade of grass, that can choose to be green and fruitful, or hide and be all brown and barely existing.
Is this a bad question to ask Him ? I have decided , NO it is not.
Jesus asked the people several times, did they know who He was.
There are only a few who seem to know me but how I praise God for those few. They also know how easy it would be for me to hide and be that barely existing brown blade of grass. They cheer me on when I try to stretch out and let all of His light shine on me ! Even if it seems that I can only do this for short spaces of time they cheer me on, remembering while I was not hiding sure that I will come out again. It is His light shining on me that they rejoice in ! Not what I have done. This I think is the best part about my few friends who know me. The LORD is exalted for everything !
I want to know others as these few know me. To love with the love of the LORD and not from the love of our fleshly soul. It is a gift ! Both for the receiver and the giver ! The Joy of the Lord is your strength as you travel along side your friend.

2006-03-07T06:51:00.000-08:00

Life Is Different Now . I have this theory, that people do not read long blogs. Therefore the short of it is, when you say to God,"I really want to stop wearing a mask, please help me."
He hears and comes quickly to your side. Then when you say to God, "I really want to stop doing things that makes me feel like putting up a mask again." He reminds you that He is already there by your side, "Let us begin! Now!"
It is amazing to me how when I know what He has said to me, doesn't change what He has said to me. I will say this slower. By knowing what He has said, I sometimes think I can speed things up, take a short cut for Him. Like when I first heard about the trip through the wilderness could have been done in 21 days instead of 40 years. I was sure I could find the 21 day route. The story of David and Goliath , surely can be retold through me and this time , I won't stop and try on Saul's armor. At least I was smart enough to know that if an angel of the LORD appeared I would want to ask him ,whose side was he on. Something else I am smart enough to know. That when Jeicho fell down , it was scary. Life could resemble that story of the Silver Chair for me . For those familiar with the story you remember how when the Chair was destroyed the world around them began to crumble. Even though it was not a world they wanted to stay in , the four friends had to leave hastily. I am giving you all these word pictures and not really telling you what is going on in my life.
The truth is that idolatry is something that people around me are use to me doing. When ever God makes a radical change in you, it is bound to affect others and they may not like it. Be encouraged, do it anyway. You may not lose them, then again you might. Just remember God is on your side and anything worth doing is worth doing well. All of the idols might as well come down. With God's help of course. The best news for me is that the strength that is needed to weld that sword of the SPIRIT , comes from Him.
There are also some masks I have yet to tackle, so I am to be a very busy person.
Then I just simply do not want to do this alone. You all must come with me and let me help you and encourage you. You want to take off your masks too, don't you ? You want to learn how to resist temptation and be delivered from the evil one too, right ? Me too. You want to help me too, don't you ? Yes, I know you do, thank-you for your prayers ,support and encouragement.
I thought maybe it was bad that I wanted a group. Did it mean I was afraid to go alone ? It could of meant that I suppose , at one time. Going alone could mean something bad too.
What is the thing that Paul tells us is better than having faith for mountains to come down ? What is even better than being able to worship being so led by the SPIRIT you know it is a sweet incense to God ? What is better than being able to do all kinds of gifts of the spirit ?
You know, it is love.
How can I learn to love , if I go alone ?

2006-02-27T04:25:00.000-08:00

Using The Sword On The Silver Chair. I called unto the Lord and He helped. He sent me a friend and together we discovered the sword that would end the work of the Silver Chair. 2 Cr 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought into obedience in Christ.
I wish to thank the friends who read this blog and pray for me.

2006-02-24T06:49:00.000-08:00

The Maker of Masks. My last comment, that we will be taking off masks until Jesus comes may not be true. One of the unfortunate things of blogging alone is there is no one to bounce statements around with first before I leave them out here. Blogs are suppose to be just that though, a place where you can say, I think this is the way it is.
Today this is what I think it is. I think our human nature is still pretty much the same as when Adam and Eve sinned in the garden. The temptations that they gave into we are still faced with just in different ways. That serpent who was there, he still must be around too, trying to confuse us as to what God really said. His favorite line is," isn't there a way we can do what God said to do, and do what we want to do too ?"
It is because we simply give into temptation that we feel we must wear masks. Once we learn how to quit that I think we will stop putting masks on. That is still a stretch for our imaginations. However it ought to go as far as Jesus did in the wilderness where He was tempted and overcame the evil one for us. Just like He overcame sickness and our sinful state. We are given new life through Him because He took the punishment of death.But back to the wilderness, He did so much for us there that we seem to not understand.
It seems to be our basic nature to have a form of idolatry in our lives. Even when His people knew He was God and that they were His people, knew He was their deliver and knew He was their life they still felt compelled to make an image and worship it. This compulsion just doesn't seem to stop either and I see it in my own life and wonder why I can not just stop it.
Some smart person out there must know the answer to that.
I trust those that are interested enough to read my blog know that we are to become a new creation in Christ Jesus. This is the journey. This is what we are to become. Some would say, "You have no hope, you will be taking off masks til Jesus comes," and some would say, "You have the hope of righteousness today. Resist that temptation today it might be the last time you have to do it. This time you will have righteousness of Jesus and you will no more be bothered with that problem. " Be bothered with that problem ? No, I think that may be where I am confused. Jesus did not stop being bothered with that problem when He left the wilderness. He continued to overcome the problem though.
When His good friend,Peter suggested something contrary to the will of His Father in heaven, Jesus was quick to give him the same reply He gave Satan when he tempted Him in the wilderness.
I think we all must spend our times in the wilderness where we are tempted but learn to do as Jesus did and speak the Word of Truth. Once we learn how to do that ,then when new tests and trials come we have our Sword of the Spirit ready and we know how to use it.
I have been thinking a lot about the story of David and Goliath. I have seen times when the Lord killed a bear. I have seen times when the Lord killed a lion. However, today I sense He is about to kill a giant and I need to know how to cut off his head.
The story of the Silver Chair by C.S.Lewis has been a lot on my mind too. Three seemingly insignificant beings are sent to rescue one captive. This captive person once gave into to temptation and followed the lusts there of. Now imprisoned it seems with no hope but one small remembrance of a special name. He cries out and cries out with no avail until he speaks his redeemers name. Then the three go into action only to find they too are almost overcome by the powers of wickedness tempting them as it were to come back enjoy the same lust her captive has for all this time. Again it is His name that restores them and they break free from her spell. The captive takes the sword and destroys the chair that once kept him in bondage.
Back to David and Goliath. Did you know Goliath had a (twin)* brother ? I remember reading somewhere he shows up again later on in David's life. I wonder if he thought, "What again ?" I wonder if he thought, "I will pick up my sword and destroy him again."Did it bum him out because he had to keep doing what he had already done once, over and over again? I just vaguely remember this story .*For those who want the exact facts I recommend the resources available on www.blueletterbible.org see the link on the side of my blog site.
I wonder if we are suppose to get involved with helping others take off their masks and overcoming the evil one ? It seems like we are but how ? First of all , I made this rule for myself, Don't help unless you are asked. But what if they do not know how to ask ? What if they are in bondage to a problem but they do not see that they are ? Should I tell them ?
Except the LORD build the house he labors in vain that builds it.
Unless the Holy Spirit has given me the time and place to do so, I am sure it would be in vain. The grieving ,(ranting and raving) I am doing is not so much that I want others to change but that I want some avenue of repentance for my own sinful idolatry. If I say, "I want the Holy Spirit to convict me and give me a gift of repentance for bitterness and resentment." Not to many people are concerned. If I say, "I am angry because God knocked down my idol ." I get a whole different response. People do not want to know that I had an idol. If the Holy Spirit has not convicted them for any form of idolatry they should have peace. Regardless it is my sin that I want to receive a gift of repentance for . It may be that I will learn how to be a truefaced friend when a truefaced friend comes to help me.

I will keep asking my "possible" friends to come to my house and break bread with me. Partake of the LORD's supper and a footwashing service. There will be a day when one and then one more, will say ,"yes."

2006-02-16T05:32:00.000-08:00

DO THIS AT HOME We have all seen episodes on TV where the person about to do a dangerous stunt, says,"Don't do this at home." Somehow our churches have gotten into a "do this here mode but don't worry about it if you don't do it at home." Maybe it would be nice if there was a little device that you walk through when you go into the church. If you haven't been doing at home what you are about to do now, it would sound off a warning alarm. Of course, we know them. They are sad. So sad. I look at leaderships wives, so sad. I look at the people around me ,so sad. Where is the joy ? Where is the joy of their salvation ? Do they think they have lost it , because they did not do good at home ? That is not a reason to lose your joy. Our salvation is a free gift. Not one we have earned by being good at home. Be thankful at home. Worship the rock of your salvation at home. Be glad when the HOLY SPIRIT convicts you at home.
Repent at home. The joy of the LORD is to be our strength to obey the scriptures. Everyone has quenched their joy, no wonder they can not do this at home. So I read Trueface Experience but it wasn't needed by them. They didn't need this kind of help. They needed to learn how to love the Lord with all their minds. They did, we do. When the DaVinci code movie comes out we need to be ready to say, why we believe what we believe. My answer is still basically the same, "I know He lives, He lives within my soul !"

2006-02-13T09:45:00.000-08:00

Doing Things Because You Are A Christian
THINGS BEING DONE BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING CONFORMED TO THE IMAGE OF CHRIST (there is a Christ likeness in you.) The place that I go to for Spiritual food will have different food servers for a while. I really love the guy who is feeding us now. His presentation was oh so similar to what I was use to hearing. I like the truth, not mixed in with a bunch of possible truths, thrown in to make the sermon entertaining. In fact the place I go to doesn't give sermons they give teaching and it is the best way to feed.
As I asked the Holy Spirit to convict me and waited, I was wondering if this guy does the same thing. You know , ask the Holy Spirit to convict . I knew I especially need to be allowing the Holy Spirit to convict me because the Holy Spirit is leading me to be more vocal more and more. I have this theory . My theory is that the reason John the Baptist was able to do such a good job at saying "Prepare Ye the Way of the LORD" was because the preparation was done in his own heart first. I am exhorting as many will hear, don't just attend church, be a church. Don't just say, that's a nice guy up there teaching me on Sundays, see that he is the authority the Lord has placed over you. Don't just say, I submit to him, really work towards submitting as you would unto the LORD. Don't ever say anything about him that you would not gladly say if he was standing right there with you. To me you are coming dangerously close to not revering the word that says, "Touch not God's anointed ,do my anointed no harm, " if you speak of any child of God revealing the parts of Christ not conformed yet into his image. However there is a place for the shepherds to warn their flocks of false teachers and I appreciated it when my shepherd was more specific and said exactly what was false. Then I had something to work with rather than he just didn't like the guy. I wondered though why he did not warn of more false teachers some I suspect are close enough for our flock to wander off into their churches and see if the grass is greener over there. The answer of course, is because the Holy Spirit did not lead him to do that. I have a young friend who is very curious about so many things. She is ready to buy every book that suggests that they have the truth that everyone needs to know. She is smart enough to love the LORD with all her mind , so she gets into debates and stuff with others. But I worry about her heart. Sometimes when we overload on getting prepared mentally we forget the really most important thing. The only necessary thing Jesus said , to Martha, and Mary had chosen it and it would not be taken from her. So many times I have seen people lose that, not because it was taken from them but because they willingly gave it up while they pursued something else , for the LORD. I hope that does not happen for my young friend.

2006-02-12T04:42:00.000-08:00

Joy while sitting. Joy while waiting. A new thing happened. While confessing earlier that I was sitting but really standing on the inside ,someone helped me see that was not bad. You know it never occurred to me that it was not bad. That is why we need each other , to help us see things from a different perspective. It is not bad to want to do what you feel God wants you to . And if it's standing but you are being told to sit, you are not bad, if you sit but wish with all your heart you could stand. I am so happy now because I know I really really want to stand . However I also know that I really really want to be submissive to the authorities God has placed over me. So I am waiting and enjoying it just a little more this morning. I'll stand someday. Go ahead and buy your books. Go ahead and start reading them. This book is like no other book I've read. You will want to go through it 15 times at least. Also , this is like the song that never ends , we will be taking off masks until Jesus comes.

2006-02-10T14:19:00.000-08:00

Waiting for a shepherd to find me......waiting ...........waiting

2006-02-08T04:10:00.000-08:00

JOY IN DOING.....JOY IN BEING......
JOY IN MY SALVATION.....JOY IN WAITING.....
JOY IN THE LORD.....True joy comes from knowing the Lord. When your life experiences start making sense. This is why this happened, He (Our Lord) was trying to teach me something, there is joy. It must be joy in the Lord. It must also be joy in the Holy Ghost. These times of understanding can only come because the Holy Spirit was allowed to reveal His Truth to me. To live my life in a way that does not quench the Holy Spirit, nor grieve the Holy Spirit, or sin in anyway against the Holy Spirit has been my desire for quite a long time now. With that came a willingness to allow the Holy Spirit to fill me as much as He wants. To not ever tell Him I have enough. You never know how much Holy Spirit you may need. I am constantly aware of sad Christians who are afraid to let their co-workers and employers know ,they are believers in the salvation of Jesus Christ.
They just put a block on a filling of the Holy Spirit that day, that can be the only answer. When you say," fill me, fill me completely Lord," there is no fear of people wondering who you are. You know who you are and you are very glad.

2006-02-07T05:38:00.000-08:00

Submission...Authority...Waiting...
(with a right spirit).Surely you've heard the story about the little boy who was told over and over to sit down. Finally he obeyed and he sat down, but when he was given a chance to talk he said,
"I was sitting down, but I was standing up on the inside." That is how I have been feeling and I knew it was not right. Only how do you change stuff like that ? There is no light switch on the inside of us that you flip, now you have a right spirit, now you don't. Wouldn't it be nice if there was.
God's word is what changes me. When the Holy Spirit shows me my situation in the Bible and I feel this understanding and peace. Then I know I am on way to change. First of all that in itself lines up with being transformed by the renewing of our minds. Second of all it works !
Being ready to do something that God wants you to do and not having approval granted from those in authority is not a new scenario. Joesph was one person who knew this well. David was another. God sent Samuel to anoint him to be king while there was still another king on the throne. Not only did his king in authority over him not agree with God about who David was to be, he did not like David very much either. David had to run,or at least he chose to run. How did he do it ,Lord ? I asked Him today. How did he manage to not be bitter while he was out there running for his life ? All the while he knew he was suppose to be king.
David was a man after God's own heart. I imagine it was because David reminded Him of His own son who would come to earth one day.
He thought it not robbery to lower Himself to be like us, when He had the highest place of all. He was God. We know Him as Jesus.

2006-02-03T04:22:00.000-08:00

YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME....So do I. One thing that goes against the grain of human nature is being told you HAVE to do something. Tell me if I want to do something , I can if I please. This would be our Adamic nature's life of ease. Unfortunately the next step for a lot of people is, okay if I have to do it I will. Then when they try to do it but fail, they feel that they are bad. You told me I have to do this, I tried to do it, I couldn't so that must make me bad. They stick to this cycle and never enjoy being a Christian. In the blog YOU CAN'T COPY THIS I shared the answer to ending this cycle. Yet to apply it you are going to look like you did before. There is going to be one small change though when you fail , you are not going to say you are bad. You are going to say ,"I tried to do this with the grace God. He wants me to do this so I want to do this. I will go to Him and confess , I will receive His forgiveness, I will ask for more grace, I will try again. I will not cover up that I tried and failed. " That last part is why we want to learn how to take off our masks. Once you take off a mask you see that mask has been quenching the Holy Spirit. The new fresh awakening your spirit receives from not having a mask on is like being able to breathe in air that has plenty of oxygen in it. As opposed to years of just enough to get by. I want to learn how to take off all my masks. I want to learn how to consistently not put them back on.
If you read the first chapter of the book, TRUEFACED by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, and John Lynch and it sparks a hope for a more fulfilling life in Jesus, may He bless you. You are not dead yet !
If you have been doing the mask thing for a long time.
If you just recently started wearing a mask, (you do not want to make it a habit ).
If you would like some company as you attempt to change your life style.
Put your e-mail address over there on the side bar. (I have not a clue who does this or if anyone does. It just is some device that alerts you by e-mail when I have updated the blog.)
If you want to give me some personal input ,my e-mail address is available in personal profile.
Come along with me. Let us learn together how to dance in our Father God's field of grace.

2006-01-28T04:41:00.000-08:00

WHAT WE SHOULD SUBMIT TO :
THE WORD OF GOD
Psa 1:1 Blessed [is] the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

2006-01-26T20:20:00.000-08:00

SUBMISSION.... DENIAL..... HOGWASH.... My mommy told me something a little girl should know....it is all about the devil and how I learned to hate him so....whenever he came in the room I faced him with a grin.....I opened up my heart and let the sonshine in. Can you imagine anyone having their little five year old daughter sing that on a Saturday night for a group of folks who'd come to town. It was all so innocent.
It was a cute song. I know. They did not even think about the words really. How could they, "smile at the devil ?" really, get rid of him ? Sounds like positive thinking propaganda to me.
Right now spiritual warfare is the topic of many of my Christian friends conversations. It fits in with what I want to tell them about submission , but I don't know how. I am not a skilled teacher. Some where along the way someone said, the problem with you is you are not submissive. It was about that time I discovered the truth about being transformed by the renewing of your mind . I decided to read Psalms 51 out loud to myself every morning, I don't know how long. My Bible still opens to it if you just kind of give it shove.
All I know is being submissive is an important part of spiritual warfare.
We are at war constantly. I know this because there isn't a day goes by that the enemy takes a day off. Everyday I ask the Lord Jesus to protect me. He is the one who does the warring. It is unto Him that I must submit. When I was in the room of pleasing God instead of trusting God my willingness to submit was quenched. Every step I took I needed to please Him. Now every step I want to trust Him.
I submit to Him and I trust Him. He submitted Himself to the Father. He places people in my life, I submit to them, that their joy may be full. There are people that are to submit to me, I do my part, they either do or don't do theirs. It would be a joy to council them if they submitted to my council. When they treat my council as hogwash, I wonder if I have cast my pearls before swine ? Especially when the council is based on the Word of God. It will not return void. I wonder what will happen to them. I pray that the Holy Spirit will convict them. Not that my council be esteemed, but that God's Word be revered as it ought to be. Fortunately not all of the council the Lord gives me to share is ignored. 1Cr 16:16 That ye submit yourselves unto such, and to every one that helpeth with [us], and laboureth. Hbr 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that [is] unprofitable for you. 1Pe 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all [of you] be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

2006-01-21T05:43:00.000-08:00

CREATE IN ME A CLEAN HEART , O GOD, AND RENEW A RIGHT SPIRIT WITHIN ME. Ps 51:10 As Christians we know that we can live a righteous looking life.Only God knows if your spirit is right. Those who wear the mask think that anyway. Doing what you do with a wrong spirit surely will show over time. It's what Truefaced Experience is about. Learning how to take off that mask and let God create in you a clean heart. Let God renew a right spirit within you.
When I was an affirmation addict my righteous walk was dictated by what other people thought was right. As an affirmation addict I really fed on admiration . Righteousness that was based on works really fed my addiction. However, I also believed that the Bible was the inspired word of God. So not only did I need to do what my fellow believers thought was right I needed to do what I thought God wanted me to do to. I sought His admiration as well. When I found His admiration could not be found by works alone I began to see I needed to make a choice here. Whose admiration would be more important ? His or theirs ?
However the loss of people's affirmation that I was doing the right thing was very hard. Yet, somehow I managed to do it , almost sure they were right and I was wrong. Except for one thing : to do what they thought I should do, I could not do with a right spirit.
Those many years ago was really when the Truefaced Experience had begun in me. A realization that my works of righteousness was as dirty rags , that stunk ! A sense of knowing if it was His work within me that was producing the righteous actions, I would also know I had a right spirit.
Or atleast desire one. Earlier this week , I thought perhaps I would be embittered by the things I saw going on around me. A wrong spirit is sure to follow bitterness. Only a good thing is happening now that I am secure in God's love, (not just His admiration) . I was able to go to Him with the problem and get an answer.
When people do things , it is important to me that I respond the way Jesus would. And as I just said, not just do what Jesus would but have the right spirit . Since I feel His spirit of love is growing within me for the situation I am hopeful of a good outcome. Atleast for me, because I am not living to feed my admiration addiction any more. It doesn't mean that I won't stumble and fall. It means that I believe His right hand is there to hold me up. Remember our room to trust God ? Remember my desire to speak the truth in love ?
This blog helps me grow ! As I hope to be speaking the truth in love to you all , the Bride of Christ to be. Yet also encourage you all to be speakers of truth in love. There are so many who need to hear truth and so many who need love. If you do not sense the Spirit of the Lord upon you that will give you love and boldness please know that you are only a second away from having it. We are encouraged in God's word to ask for it and I do daily.

2006-01-17T05:09:00.000-08:00

WHOSE FAULT IS IT ? As I prayed for the Holy Spirit to convict a man leading so many into error , the Holy Spirit reminded me of some things.
Like how many years I had "served the Lord" but deceived.
My pastor taught me that there was a time when the chosen people of God were deceived. (Read those blogs that I talk about a golden calf.)They actually thought that God was pleased with the way they were doing.
The Holy Spirit took that teaching and revealed to me that I had been doing the same thing. Grabbing up bits of information here and there but not really ready to go in and meet the real God.
It was not hard for me to admit to God my sin. Mainly because I had been down that road of deception before. I was raised in a "non-denominational" movement that took a mixture of teachings, including some of the Mormon views of serving Christ. Fortunately for me the Holy Spirit revealed the error of that teaching. Only I fell into another church doctrine, this one with a big emphasis on "Restoration", again after many years, my eyes were opened . It is possibly human nature to blame someone else for our mistakes. Adam did it, Eve did it. How glad I am that we have the hope of receiving a new nature , that of Christ.
What if I had continued to blame those teachers for my years of deception? What if I had never forgiven God for allowing me to be born into the family that I was ? What if I still insisted it was someone else's fault that I had been deceived ?
Unfortunately I know the answer to that .
I know of years of being bitter and resentful .
I know of years of being reluctant to submit to any authority again.
I know of years of being unable to see who I was in Christ Jesus.

Yet, one thing I knew, it ought not be so.
I sought Him and I sought Him and He redeemed my soul.
So with joy and gladness I confess now ,
and with much pleasure I receive.
The joy of His salvation as He comforts me.

His grace is sufficient for every weakness of my flesh.
His love is greater than any sin I might commit.
He willingly washes my feet, if I will let Him.
So you see my friends, I really really do know.

Dear friends I have enjoyed sharing with you the truths the Lord shares with me. You know of course, I am just sharing and there may be bones in the fish I give you. Always be ready to spit them out.
There will be a change in my life soon. A wonderful blessing that I have enjoyed for several years is about to be taken away from me. I have decided as of Feb 1 to begin a new blog , titled a Voice in the Valley.
I will just put it over on the side. My hope to encourage others to be real with God has been squelched temporarily. I will return again, when it returns.

2006-01-16T02:37:00.000-08:00

Touch not God's anointed , do my prophets no harm. I suppose this would be a hard subject for a pastor of a church to speak on. Especially if he reckoned himself anointed . There are so many ways one can harm the anointed that it would surely require a series , if he was to do the subject justice.
I would not even go across the street to see a famous evangelist that appears on TV daily. Once or twice a year as I am flipping through the channels , I might stop and watch the people worship God. They seem so caught up in giving Him glory, they seem so able to unashamably give worship to the most High.
It never occurred to me that I had been coveting. Looking longingly at what others get to do.
It didn't seem bad. It was not until yesterday that I was informed that those poor people are all being led astray. They are being taught to believe in a false god. How sad for them. How glad I am that the Lord never said, "Go over to that guy's tent."
A warning and a clear reason for not doing something is a shepherd's responsibility.
Until yesterday, I was only aware that my shepherd did not like this guy very much.
Everytime he would say something about him, that scripture, Touch not my anointed ,do my prophets no harm , would come to my mind. Now I do not think he was doing him any harm.
Now that he clearly stated why he did not like what he teaches and how unbiblically sound it is.
There are people who judge those in authority without giving much thought as to whether or not they are anointed. It grieves me that the Biblical way of dealing with differences of opinion are not more commonly practiced.

2006-01-13T05:35:00.000-08:00

FOOTWASHING: RECAP So now you have the Biblical view of footwashing and you have my view that when Jesus said,"So ought ye to do unto others." He meant it. The short version is : if a brother knows you have not been living the life style of a child of God and it has affected his life in some way (he has ought against you ) . You are to go to that brother and say "I am sorry . This is what I did . I have asked God to forgive. I ask you to forgive me also." When he says, "I forgive you." He should also be willing to do as Jesus would, and wash your feet. When someone comes to you and says, "I have done wrong, will you forgive me ?" We are to say, "I forgive you, may I also wash your feet."
Any person that desires to make a comment please read the full version first.
Bitterness is an emotion that might precede an action of unrighteousness.
However if you have given this sin to God before you have acted on it you have no need to go to your brother . If you have now gotten rid (by allowing Jesus to take care of it) of the sin and the truth is this brother has acted on his bitterness or some other sin that has affected your life . You now have ought against him.
I believe you would be right to ask the Holy Spirit to help him (the brother) remember that he has done this thing. I believe it is right that we should ask the Holy Spirit to convict others for their sins. I believe it is alright to ask the Holy Spirit to convict myself for sin. I believe that the body of Christ would do well if they would let the Holy Spirit do it's job.
I believe that the body of Christ needs to start acting like who we are.
When a brother comes to us and says , "They have sinned ." Stop sugar coating it. If you are who you are in Christ Jesus ,you love that brother, and you can speak the truth in love. You can also forgive him and wash his feet.

2006-01-11T13:00:00.000-08:00

FOOTWASHING & THINGS LIKE THAT
Our lives at church seem to be a world of their own. This is what we do at work , this is what we do at home, this is what we do at church. Each a world with specific social skills expected. Each a system of their own. Unless you are a 24 hr Christian. Then the system at work, the system at home, the system at church become integrated. How you are at work , how you are at home, how you are at church become more of how you are, all the time. It is interesting how many people would like to advise you on this when they see this is what you are aiming for.
I say aiming for as in , "running a race," something like that.
I once was paid with a check that bounced. Now this was not the only check this individual had written that bounced. There had been so many checks bounce before mine that the bank handed it back to me and said, to try again in a few days to see if this person would make it good. Desperate for my money I went back to the bank several times before it became clear this person was not going to take care of this account. So I decided that my money was just as good as gone. Just like it had been stolen. Now to me when I read the Bible it said that when a thief takes your coat , you should run after them and give them your cloak also.
Well, I desperately needed that money. I had three little children who were expecting me to supply their needs with that money. I was to have been given that money for a service I performed, so I decided rather than give that person an extra helping of my money, actually I do not think I had that amount of money to give, I decided to go and perform this service again, for free. It was odd , I had never seen or heard of any of my Christian friends handling a thief in this way but I reasoned, that it said this in the Bible , surely they all did it this way.
To make a long story shorter, the individual would not hear of me doing this service for free and went to her purse and pulled out the exact amount of the bounced check in cash and sent me on my way.
A year later she called me and asked me to work for her again and over paid me extravagantly. It had been around Thanksgiving time that time that the check had bounced and because it also was the end of my working for her I could not afford to buy a turkey that year for my children. We went to one of those free things that churches do, we still had a nice Thanksgiving. One of the things I will never forget is that day I went back to work for her, when I was ready to go home, she pulled out of her freezer a turkey and gave it to me. I knew then I had been right all along.
His word is a lamp unto our feet . We will never go wrong by following it.
I don't usually do long blogs . I wanted to sit down here and tell you about footwashing. I guess you need to know first, this is for only the serious minded Christian. If the before hand story doesn't sound like anything you would do, you might as well go on to another blog now.
Jesus said to Peter, unless I can wash your feet ,you shall have no part of me. As important as that sentence is, I am so surprised that I do not see Christians practice this. Just like I was surprised that Christians were surprised to hear about my testimony before hand. Also , when similar things happened to them ,and I reminded them of what the Bible says about giving your cloak also ,they laughed at me. Very few of them ever thought there was any reason to handle a thief the way I did.
A few years ago I needed to know how to handle a "Christian relationship" in which I was fairly certain any admittance of guilt and remorse would be only talk. How could I get through to where there would really be any action ? It came to me as I studied again the sacrament of footwashing and with confidence I knew, if the answer from this individual was ,"no, you can not wash my feet," I could confidently say, "depart from me, I want nothing to do with you."
I've heard some teaching on footwashing and it is so off the wall I won't go into that with you now. I would just ask you to put aside what ever you have thought you knew before about footwashing.
Look again , in context, about the scriptures that encourage us to acknowledge our sins one to another. Before any one runs off, I would like to point out that I think , in context, it is mainly referring to those sins we commit that have affected or would affect that individual.
So if you are thinking that you need to acknowledge all your sins to someone, look again , in the Bible. Just where did you come up with that ?
Now our sins or trespasses that have directly or could indirectly violate a person because you did them, and they are believers of the same unearned righteousness as you, it might be that you should tell them.
When should it be ? When you remember someone has ought against you . That is what I read.
So now you go to them and you say, "I have remembered you have ought against me, because I did this and this to you. I am here to tell you I am convicted by the Holy Spirit for doing this. I would like you to know that I have asked our Father in heaven to forgive me and I would like to also ask that you forgive me." Now they are going to respond in some way obviously. If you truly were convicted of the Holy Spirit and you have done your part, if they don't do their part don't worry about it.
If they say, "Yes, I forgive you," my thought is that you might want to ask them to partake of the Lord's supper with you. Because in this way they would recognize the seriousness of the situtation and because also you probably have come to make things right before you partake.
Once you get that far, if you have, it would be right for you to ask them if they would wash your feet. No, wait a minute, it would be right if they asked if they can wash your feet.
I know this is rough.
Let's go at it the other way.
Someone comes to you and says, "I have been convicted by the Holy Spirit for doing this and this to you. I have asked our Father in heaven to forgive me and I would like to ask that you forgive me to." Here you go, you know your part, "Yes, I forgive you because I know Jesus forgives you."
"I belong to Him, I want to do things His way, I want to forgive you the way He would. Would you let me wash your feet ?"
If they say "no," it could be that they just do not understand the sacrament of footwashing. I have been praying for a long time now. Our people perish for lack of knowledge, I have been entreating the Father to have mercy upon us.
Maybe you better go back to asking if they would have the Lord's supper with you. If they say yes to that , it is some action that shows this was not just a convenient thing to do. I thought I better do this in case Jesus thinks I'm a bad guy or something. (I know how a lot of people think, I use to think like that.) Yet, I think you should let them know your desire is to wash their feet . So that you can show them with an action that "yes,you really do forgive them." Now, I am going to go ahead and tell you a little about this teaching I heard, for this part , the actual washing of the feet.
This part is a visual display only. It can be done without the removal of shoes. I just thought of some social skill that I assume all Christians would take for granted, just in case I am wrong, you would not suggest this to the opposite sex. It would be totally improper to hold another person's foot that was of another sex than your own. Jesus was a man and I guess it could be safely argued that it is only a man's sacrament. Except that we are neither Jew nor Greek, male nor female to God.
Beside the way of just holding the foot and washing with an imaginary pouring of water, there has been suggested that the washing of the feet could be some act of kindness , like washing their car or cutting their grass. This might be possible , but I think there should be an acknowledgement that they receive it as a display of your forgiveness.
If they are never willing to let you forgive them , I doubt they ever wanted to be forgiven. I would give it time and I would pray for them to be able to receive. I think there would probably come a day when you would know, no more. This person needs to depart from me.

2006-01-10T05:25:00.000-08:00

SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE
FOOTWASHING
May our Father in heaven grant me grace to speak the truth in love.
He loves you, there is no doubt. Any who have read John 3:16 and have ears to hear and hearts that understand, know..........He loves us.
Why we want confirmation to come through the body of Christ, must have something to do with human nature. It never fails that I am disappointed , then I have to remember, they are who they are, like me , human.
Jesus, on the other hand is Divine. Yet we are told by Him, that we can be like Him. The ability to love divinely must be included in that promise . I really wonder if people are expecting it to happen someday. Am I the only one ?

2006-01-08T04:31:00.000-08:00

By Now He Surely Stinketh ! Do you remember the story of Lazarus ? One sister says this to Jesus who is about to bring her brother out of the tomb. The other sister says, "Do whatever He says."
I really wish the writer of the story would of included the part of the story as the stone was rolled away from the tomb. Was there a smell that oozed out from the tomb that was dispelled by the presence of Jesus ? Or did Lazarus restoration begin even before the stone was rolled away ? His body laid there , quietly cold, but not in decay ?
Our God , the Lord Jesus Christ, being the divine creator of all things could have performed this miracle of bringing Lazarus to life, either way.
I have to believe this. Further more, I want to believe this story can apply to my spiritual life as well.
As in earlier blogs ,you are aware of my identification with the Elder Brother in the story of the Prodigal Son. For me to come and encourage the Elder Brothers out there, that we can change has been my goal.
If it has been sounding like
"something we can do" , I need to apologize.
There are only a few things we can do.
Really , only one.
It involves a choice, something like Mary made, as she sat at the feet of Jesus taking in His every word. Not minding if she was admired or not by those around her, for her busyness. Not even minding if she was rebuked for her choice. When the time come for Jesus to perform a miracle, she was ready, "Do what He tells you," she says. Obedience, trust, lack of love for self (by the worlds standards), maybe you see other character traits as well.
However, the bottom line is without Jesus that brother of hers would not of come alive. Without Jesus there would have been no miracle.
I know this is what this Elder Brother needs to get through it's head. You are not going to work a miracle on yourself by renewing your mind. You are not going to make enough right choices to obey. You are not going to perform some miracle even by trusting God. Even not loving yourself as others tend to love themselves is not going to be the key.
Those things are all good though. Those things are the by product of waiting on Jesus, yet Jesus, is the One I need to set me free. Jesus is the One I need to speak unto my heart and breathe new life into me.
As I come to Him and drink His living water..... my soul, mind, heart and strength is renewed. Not to it's fullness but a process of restoration that assures my heart, that He has been here.

2005-12-30T04:28:00.000-08:00

TAKING OFF YOUR MASK
JUST WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

For most people it means letting something be known about themselves that was before a secret. Just being willing to show and tell is not the point in Truefaced Experience. Being able to accept forgiveness , grace and gifts of repentance for the thing you were hiding, this is the goal. However, it is possible to get hung up in the process. That is why it is good to be in a group or at least to have some loving support from other believers. Just in case you get hung up.
The process of determining just what kind of hiding styles you use the most are really your masks. These are talked about more in the book Hiding From Love by Dr.John Townsend. To explore these styles with others would also be helpful. Loving others that is. Not people who will put you down and say things like, "You're a Christian. Don't do that." If you can finally find someone who realizes that hiding styles are what we humans are about and won't be critical of you while you try to stop using them............
Consider yourself blessed of the LORD ! Truly. This is what has happened. The LORD has heard your cries and answered your prayers.
Most of us don't mind if you confess your sin to us, but please stop sinning now. I have found the exhortation on the earlier blog to be very convicting. Also I have found it to be the very answer I have sought. YOU CAN NOT COPY THIS is exactly true. Unless our heavenly Father, (in whatever way He chooses)reveals to you , who that brother or sister in Christ really is, we have a copy of what the church is suppose to be.
On the other hand if we seek Him until we find Him, (as the scriptures encourage us to do) and then ask Him, "please, Who do You say this person is here, who just confessed this sin to me." Or maybe you want to say ," this person who is sinning but doesn't seem to be aware of it." When the LORD God Almighty answers that question, you have everything .
Before you have your fleshly attempt to "do as Jesus would" after your prayer is answered, you have the divine ability "to do as Jesus does" . However , you don't take credit for it. NO NO NO NO . What did you do? You just asked. Why did you ask ? Because the Holy Spirit revealed to you the secret of the church. So you know you did not do anything.
Except be willing to let it happen. If any of you have come this far with me, you know we can not take credit for that. This whole work began because of HIM and it will only continue because of HIM and there really isn't anything we can take credit for.
So taking off the mask, not using a hiding style, any more what does that mean ? It means what you were before you hid, that is what you are now.
However, as we go through the book of Truefaced Experience we see there is forgiveness, grace and gifts of repentance waiting for us, if we will only enter the room called trusting God. It makes taking off the mask a little easier. However, you will have to trust God. You may not be surrounded by people who will accept you like you are.
God will though. You may have to look to His Word like you have never looked before. He will tell you there, He accepts you like you are. He may hear your cries and put it into someone's heart, this is who He says you are. Oh, how wonderful that would be. Just remember, the work He began and has been doing in you did not happen overnight, the thing He might do in your brothers heart towards you , may not happen over night either.

FOR ALL THE PRODIGAL SONS AND ELDER BROTHERS OUT THERE MAY I PROCLAIM : LET GOD BE TRUE AND EVERY MAN A LIAR. HE THAT HAS BEGUN A WORK IN YOU HE IS ABLE AND WILLING TO COMPLETE IT. FOR ALL HAVE COME SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD. YET IN HIS MERCY HE LOVED US AND REDEEMED US THAT ALL THE BENEFITS OF HIS SON MIGHT BE GRANTED UNTO US. WE WHO ARE NOT WORTHY TO TOUCH HIS SANDAL STRAP ARE GIVEN THE PLEASURES OF THE KINGDOM. LET US NOT HESITATE TO GIVE HIM OUR ALL. LET US NOT HOLD BACK IN UNBELIEF. LET US NOT HIDE OUR SINS FROM HIM ANYMORE. LET US TRUST HIM TO LOVE US AND GRANT US MERCY AND GRACE. HE IS THE KING. HE IS THE LORD. THERE IS NONE WHO CAN COMPARE TO HIS GREAT LOVE. HE HAS LOVED US SO MUCH THAT HE CHOSE TO REDEEM US AND NOTHING CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM US.

2005-12-24T05:14:00.000-08:00

Where We Are ....Who We Are....Who Is Our God.

We are The Church, The Bride of Christ,
The Called & Chosen.

Being able to accept the truth about
where my spiritual growth area is means I can take off a mask here.
Being able to accept the truth about
who God says that I am
means I can take off a mask here.
Being able to accept the truth about
Who God really is
means I can take off a mask here.
In my life of de-masking , I can see it effects all three areas.
The masks hinder the truth. Being willing to take off the masks allows truth to flow like a river.
Then I get around people.
First of all l thank God that I can go and get around people. May He be glorified today that I do not retreat physically from all involvement of people. That I dare to even try , may He be glorified.
Now I look forward to the day that my masks stay off. Only then will the river of life that He is willing to pour into me will be able to flow out of me.
See , the masks dam it up.
Maybe that is why I think that having an over flow of the Holy Spirit is so helpful. Perhaps it just bursts those dams and flows over the tops of others and allows me to be useful in the kingdom anyway.
It certainly isn't because my flesh has been perfected. It is still in a state of being perfected the last time I looked. (Ugh !)
However, this is a mask area remember ? It is my belief that the longer I can remain honest about my need to be perfected, He is working.
The soapbox I was on in my last blog was a hiding style. I was using it again. However, our Heavenly Father is so gracious to us. He helped me accept I had made a mistake again and helped me to do what is right.
That was to confess my own sin rather than be so concerned about other peoples sins. I was deceived because I thought I was fighting for a good cause.

Did my falling back into using a hiding style (hiding from God's love) change where am I ?
No , where I am is how am I abiding in the Word of God. This is what "where " is . Am I digesting the Word as milk , am I digesting the Word as bread, or am I digesting the Word as meat ?
Knowing where am I according to God's Word is so important. More important than whether I am bearing fruit. If I do not continue to abide in the vine , there will not be any fruit. Fruit is kind of check point for us when we are thinking that the Holy Spirit is leading us to start doing something different. No doubt leaving a comfort zone is going to feel like I am now eating meat, or bread if before I was drinking milk.
The truth is we never out grow our need for milk. When I abide in God's Word I expect the milk, then I open my heart for bread, and if the Holy Spirit chooses to be gracious to me , I receive meat. Although, I wonder if He doesn't grind it up for me like baby food sometimes. It seems to take me forever to get some truths that others just seem to walk in naturally.

Did falling back into a hiding style change
who am I ?
No, whoever God said I was from whenever He first said this is who I am, it never changes. My understanding and awe of who He says I am increases as I abide in His word. However, my mistakes never change the fact that I have been tattooed (as it were ) into His hand. He won't forget who He said I am either. I might forget, or not believe, or not be willing to accept, all are symptoms of mask wearing I've found.

Did falling back into a hiding style change
who God is ?
No, the True and Living God. It did not change Him at all, He never changes. The little god IDOLS and the gold calf FAKE god always seems to get damaged when I fall. It must be that every time I need our True and Faithful God and He catches me when I fall , the comparison is then so great I can see more clearly and gifts of repentance are granted unto me.
Repentance is a gift that I can not copy. I can copy a life style that would appear to all that I have no gods before Him but is that the way I want to enter Heaven ? No. Yet the only alternative is to receive His grace, receive His gifts and believe to apply His Word to my life as He (Jesus) showed me how to do. Newcomers should read these parables : Sower and the seed. Prodigal son and elder brother. Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. Plus read the whole Bible as I know you will if you are hungry.

2005-12-20T07:25:00.000-08:00

IT IS UNBELIEF ! HELP THOU OUR UNBELIEF,
MAY WE BELIEVE WE ARE WHO YOU SAY WE ARE.
MAY WE BELIEVE WHO YOU SAY OUR BROTHER IS.

Do you sing this song at church ? I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord you catch me when I'm falling, You tell me who I am. I am Yours. Every word of this is so true. Spoke with the inspiration of the Psalms it speaks for us today.

If this song rings true to your own experience, please be encouraged it is hard to believe when He tells you , "you are His." Believing this is what it is all about. This is walking without falling, yet He catches us when we do.

I don't know of anyone who never falls. "Lord, help thou my unbelief ," can be heard from my lips often. Yet , I say them. I say them because the opposite of believing is not believing and people , "Don't go there."

Please , if for any reason you have thought it was okay to think less of yourself than what He has told you. REPENT. REPENT now.

I didn't say go off half cocked (as my daddy use to call it ) and do a bunch of fool stuff. Do a little , then look for fruit. Expect rebuke. You are going to make mistakes. Get up, didn't He catch you when you fell ? I know He did .

Why am I on this soap box ? I wouldn't be , except that I just realized , what has held true for me , holds true for my brother and sister.
To the extent that I am willing to struggle to believe that I am who God says I am, I ought to be able to do that for them. I am being a little hard on myself. So I am sure I am being hard on you. Please, forgive.

Let us together, realize we do serve a loving God who will forgive us for all our sins. If we confess them to Him ,He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. Self centeredness , selfishness, and self interest are sure to be included.

Come dance with me ,
in my Father God's field of grace.

2005-12-19T04:37:00.000-08:00

YOU CANNOT COPY THIS !
How do I know ? Because I have tried. It is absolutely impossible. There is no way created or that will be created that will let you copy this.
May I now define THIS.
The Church. The Bride of Christ. There are probably a few more names that are not coming to my mind right now. Basically I hope you are getting the picture.
There is one very unique quality about The Church that you will not be able to copy. For those of us who have been reading Truefaced Experience and have been attempting to take off our masks this blog will make sense.
I am putting into words for you what you have by now figured out.
Masks on : we have a copy of what the church is suppose to look like.
Masks off : this is the church ? Are you looking around at what use to be your church ? What happened ? Isn't it strange ? Before you skip on to another blog I have something to say here.

I am going to write some scripture here. Before I do I want to share with you what I learned in Theology 101 . Always look at the context. If what I write today is new to you please, get your Bible out and read all of Matt 16.

vs. 15 He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am? vs16 And simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God. vs 17 And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Barjo na for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven. vs 18 And I say also unto thee. That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church: and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. vs19 And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

What did Jesus say here ? He described The Church. The one that cannot be copied. How do I know ? Because of what Jesus said to Simon Barjona, flesh and blood has not revealed Who I am to you, but My Father in heaven. The Church will be a people who know each other . YES. The Church will be a people who know who each one is because Jesus' Father in heaven revealed to them who they are.

That will only happen if you and I take our masks off to God and let Him know we are serious about being part of The Church.
This is hard enough , I know , but you better get ready for part two.
immediately the elder brother shows up. He is not going to take this sitting down. He is going to point out every log in your eye, (well, it looks like a log to him ) that he can find. This is so very hard on him. He does not like it that you, who was once willing to just be a servant, a slave even, has been told that the Father wants a relationship with you. No........I can assure you he does not like it.

What is wrong here ? Where is The Church ? I'll tell you where they are.
They have been hood winked into believing that it is all about serving. It is all about doing. It is all about pleasing. All about keeping the law. Somebody forgot to tell them that the Holy Spirit is vital to their well being. Without it they are not going to have clue who the Father says you are. So there you are . A people who think they are The Church and you who is trying for the first time to really become The Church. Real and without pretense. They want you to immediately have no sin. There is no reason why you should have any sin in your life today.

What can you do ? First of go in and enjoy the party. You know , the one your Father said he'd kill the fatted calf for. Go on in and have fun. His grace is enough. Yes, He does not want you to ignore or be in denial about your sins. But His grace is enough. Go on and enjoy the party.

Second ask the Father to reveal to you who the elder brother is.
Ask the Father to reveal to you who that other mask taker offer person is in that group with you. Ask the Father to reveal to you who that is that you are taking those Christmas presents to. Ask the Father to reveal to you who that is who is sitting on the back row of your church all by themselves. Ask the Father to reveal to you who that is who is up on the platform of your church, attempting to be led by the Holy Spirit and doing the best he can.
Ask the Father to reveal to you who that is who is coming to church regularly but still is struggling with habitual sins. Ask the Father to reveal to you who that is ........your sons ,your daughters, your spouse.

It is upon this rock ,The Church is built. And we missed it. Until now.
How are you going to love that elder brother unless the Father reveals to you who he is ?
What is so special about that ?
Who he is is someone He knows and loves personally. When the Father reveals that to you it is going to be a whole lot easier to forgive him for being an elder brother. It is going to be a whole lot easier , in fact easier just is not an appropriate word. Something happens when revelation comes. Something you cannot copy that is for sure. Something solid like a rock.

I know who you are. You are someone God loves. You think I have a log in my eye that I should deal with . You are so right. Can you help me ?
Have you ever needed to repent of this sin? Is there anything you can say that might help me repent ? I do want to repent just as fast as I can.
Did you think because I was dancing with my Father God in His fields of grace it was not bothering me ? I am sorry . Did I hear you say yes , you do know about this sin I am struggling with ? Did you say , well actually you have not been able to get rid of all of it yet ? I know. Something about the way our Father set this up. Ours sins are washed away by the blood of Jesus. Just like washing . The stains don't always just disappear on the first time dunking into the water. We have to keep coming back to the Word don't we ? Would you like to come and dance with me and my Father God in His fields of grace ?

2005-12-16T04:03:00.000-08:00

Relationship. Yes, He wants to have a relationship with us. Maybe not constantly be by our sides. Maybe for us to realize He considers us His children and not servants.
As His child I have more reason to obey than the servant. I also have more to be joyful about .As my work is for my Father Whom I love and He loves me. To allow this relationship to develop I obey Him. Knowing at all times He is aware of what I am doing and if I need help, all I need do is ask.
He tells me to give . Not as the world gives. As He gives. Two things here are very evident. One: I will need a new nature . Two: I will need to be involved with other people.
In Chuck Smith's book LIVING WATER he so clearly shares about the spiritual gift of giving .
As a little child who was just taught : this is what you do. I have found it hard to stop giving as a little child. There certainly can be a more mature way to give. It involves more than just counting out your money at the end of the week and giving a tenth.
Probably the first step to a more mature giving is realizing that the money you are counting out is not yours, but your Father's. It seems like soon after that you realize that everything is your Father's. Time , people , places and things all are His.
Then comes accepting that it is all His to do with as He pleases. Probably a life long challenge, as I find after I am able to accept this truth to all that applies to me, I turn around and find : here is more .
When He reminds me that people are His and not mine for the keeping I have found this poem in Charles Swindoll's book GRACE AWAKENING very helpful.

To "Let Go" Takes Love

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means that I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it is the realization that I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not care for, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes but to allow others to effect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and to cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and to live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and to love more.

2005-12-15T05:24:00.000-08:00

Lord we need You here!
Last week we were looking at a map. I was trying to help you identify landmarks that you might see on your journey.
That sounds like a very noble cause. Offering you the gift of my understanding seemed good to me.
Telling you to know just where you are on that map, seems like it is good advice.
If you are still interested in my advice. Please consider this before you start out on your journey again. Don't go alone.
If you have found out where you are, you probably did so with the Lord's help. You may think that all you have to do now is take off and He will follow. This seems to be logical. After all He just met you didn't He ?
Kindly and graciously revealed to you where you are.
He also loves those people around you. He says He identifies Himself in them. If you want His company I suggest , "Don't go alone."

All the reasons I give God for why I must travel alone are really lies.
It is true that some people I would be better off not being with.
However when I start picking and choosing who would be fit to travel with me I begin to get a little pious. Little self righteous. Just a little better than them. Next thing you know there is no one fit to travel with me. I must go alone. Then I say ,"Okay, Lord, I am ready . Let's go."
What do you think He says ?
So I start crying ,"Lord,I want You to go with me."
So if He doesn't show up I just go on alone. I know what the Father wants me to do today. I'll just please Him.
Now that seems to work for awhile , until burn out or some other tragic thing happens. Then I find myself back on that map, somehow right back where I was when I said,"I'll go alone." Then I remember. I cannot harden my heart towards His people and expect Him to tag along.

Being able to go along with His people is just one more step . Just like being able to let Him show you where you are on the map. For me it is step fall, step, step fall. Reaching out to you all is somehow helping with my walk. I don't want to give up when I fall. I want to let the Lord help me up. Show me where I am again, try to love again , and step again.

2005-12-12T06:22:00.000-08:00

LORD WE NEED YOU HERE ! No matter where we are , no matter where I am, this one thing I know. Lord, I need You , here. Today, as I go about doing the will of our father, I need You .

2005-12-09T06:24:00.000-08:00

YOU ARE HERE ! HERE AM I .
Maps are wonderful ! You can find the path to your destination just by studying the map. However, how much good is a map if you do not know where you are ? A person comes along and sees you studying the map.
"Oh, hello ! I see you are planning on going somewhere. You are looking at a map."[Journey man] "Yes, " you say," but because I do not know where I am on this map, the map is not doing me much good."
" I do not know where you are either," the Journey man replies. "but that is a beautiful map you are holding. I know about your destination ! I have been traveling to that spot for quite some time now. Would you like to hear about some of my adventures ? Perhaps then if you find yourself on the same path some of the landmarks will look familiar to you . "
And so it is that I am blogging today. Talking to fellow map lookers who have in mind the same destination as mine. I do not know where you are.
Here am I.
The recommended steps for changing my hiding styles are (taken from the book Hiding From Love ) : accept own mediocrity and that of others.
allow loving others to see badness and imperfections.
repent of omnipotence ; recognize freedom of others to leave us, allow them to choose them to choose to suffer.
Accept, allow and allow. Sounds like giving up control to me.
Trusting that there is a LIVING LOVING GOD available to us all.

2005-12-07T05:25:00.000-08:00

Thought for the day: How do I know that God really wants to have a relationship with me ?

My whole concept of God has been that He has been trying to do a job.
Everything He has done ,it had to do with the job He was doing.
It never occurred to me that He might want to do a job ,plus have a relationship with me. I do not suppose I have ever thought about being able to do a job right plus have a relationship. I have always wanted to do the job right so that I could have the relationship. Tell me I do not have to do it right and that I can still have a relationship and I am baffled.
I thought that was what it was all about. Doing the job right.

Some of you are glad that I have found this out. Some of you are right where I am so I hope you are encouraged to know you are not alone.

2005-12-06T07:36:00.000-08:00

A GOLDEN CALF was worshipped by a people who thought they were pleasing the One who had delivered them from bondage.
It has occurred to me why people might prefer a god who was a golden calf rather than a living God.
No relationship is required.
It is safer when you are just doing and pleasing.
My flesh would rather do it that way.
My flesh does not really want to lay itself out there and risk being hurt.
Is there some way that it can appear I have done it but be safe ?
Fellow mask wearer's , you know there is . How well we know.
Today I will be honest.
Today I will say I am sorry that my flesh would rather serve Him without relationship.
I will trust Him, to work it within me to will and do His good pleasure. It is not okay to continue wearing a mask. I will accept that His grace is sufficient for me.

2005-12-05T05:28:00.000-08:00

Nope , I did not walk on water ! Perhaps, I was in Narnia when the snows were melting . Walking , sliding, slipping, half falling, crawling, feeling very muddy before it was over is a close description of my adventure.
Turning to the LORD and crying help I remembered a book that has helped me many times before in this journey. HIDING FROM LOVE by Dr.John Townsend. It is a resource book about hiding styles people commonly use . However, I have only found this book helpful when I was really ready to let the LORD help me. Only then have I been able to identify specific hiding styles and comprehend the recommended steps.
An important change in my attitude had to take place before this help ,helped. That was learning to receive grace. Only then could I accept that it would be okay to not be okay. GRACE AWAKENING by Chuck Swindoll really helped me there. Kind of beginning place for the Holy Spirit to start working in my life.
Today as I walk with the LORD, I will be mindful of those hiding styles He showed me . I will ask Him to help me change . I will trust Him to do a work in me.
The prayer Paul prayed for the saints in Philippi encourages me today.
Phil.1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.

2005-12-03T06:37:00.000-08:00

STANDING YET MOVING ? How can that be ? Yet, that is what I feel is happening. The answer of course ,is that the world around me did not stop moving while I was standing. Thus standing , I was moving.
Suddenly I felt that I was being beckoned to walk on water. I was reminded of Lucy's trip through the wardrobe into a new land but my land this time was on water. I smiled as I realized at least one of the Chronicles of Narina started with the adventure in water. C.S. Lewis' books do so remind me of my adventures sometimes.
However, I find greater comfort in seeing parallels with those in the Bible. I have felt that the things the Holy Spirit is leading me to do now can only happen if I keep my eyes on Jesus. Not look at the wind and the waves.
Although some might say, "Don't you mean , to do as Jesus said in His parable about the sower and the seed ?" "Aren't you trying not to let the cares of this world choke out His word ?" I would answer ,"yes ." However while I am doing that, I am expecting miracles to happen. So was the sower of the seed. Could a little seed bring forth anything on it's own ? What brings life to a seed ? Isn't it a miracle that God performs ? However the sower does things to, doesn't he ?
These inspirational thoughts are being fueled with the teaching the HOLY Spirit is pouring through my Pastor at church, as we are studying 2 Kings.
The reason I bring this up is because the Old Testament is so important. The events in the Old Testament helped the people understand what was being taught in the New Testament. These stories were different than that of C.S. Lewis and John Bunyan.
I am so glad my pastor does not go lightly over events such as Elijah & Elisha's stop at Gilgal. He takes the time to make it clear what that means for us today. Same thing as the story of the seed. It must die first before it is fruitful.
My standing is with the hope I am submitting to my flesh being cut off.
It is in hope that as I stand and refuse to go back to my old room of pleasing God but stay in this new room of trusting God , my flesh will someday drop off. It is happening. However, all of my flesh is not gone yet. So I caution others , do not look to me, but look to the author and the finisher of our faith. For I am but an encourager to aid you in your travel.
He alone is the one who can give you strength. He alone is all you need. You do not need me. However, I need Him. If it is His desire for me to encourage you as you read Truefaced Experience then I will trust and obey the best I can. This book has been an encouragement to me to attempt to overcome my fears of being myself and trusting in our Lord's love .
However I am sure that just like any book written ,other than the Bible , there are mistakes. My admonition here is that we look not to the writers of books for anything other than encouragement. Let us look to the Bible for the Way we are to go.

2005-11-29T07:05:00.000-08:00

MY GOD HE IS A LION ! HE IS NOT TAME !

Where was the Ark of the covenant during those days in 2 Kings ? The people had been dubbed into believing it was okay to worship the God they believed had delivered them from Egypt by worshipping a golden calf. Had they lost the Ark ? I think so. Where was the presence of the LORD ? How could they reach Him. Of course, long ago back when their forefathers realized God was real, they requested Moses do the talking to Him for them. Why was that ? I know the answer as most of you who are attempting this Truefaced Experience journey know. He is not tame !

Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly before His throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Oh that boldly part. I can turn around and not go in and no one will ever know the difference. I and He alone are aware of my sins. If I don't go in I can pretend that I did . I can do better. I won't judge my brother this week LORD, I promise. You can look at my face. I will think only loving thoughts while I am around him, I promise. I don't really have to go in do I ? That part about the vail being ripped from the top to the bottom really didn't mean that I can go in now, did it ? Didn't it mean that my pastor can go in now ? Didn't it mean that just special people can go in now ?
Did it mean that you want me to go in ?

Hebrews 9 seems to be all about my answer. Hebrews 9:14 How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God ?

You do realize don't you that Jesus is The Way, The Truth and The Life and no man comes to the Father but through Him. As hard as it is, let us keep trying to be real . Better is one day in His courts, better is one day in His house than a thousand else where. I can not spend another day pretending. I have wasted so many days already. I am afraid. Better that I stand here afraid than back up. Godly sorrow waves over me. Jesus protect me from the liar who would want me to believe any lie. Jesus speak truth to my heart. Jesus You are the way. I look to what You did while You were here on earth. What clues did You give me ? Jesus You are the life. You are all I need. You are all I need. You are all I need.

2005-11-28T05:02:00.000-08:00

IS MY GOD A GOLDEN CALF ?
How did it happen ? In 2 Kings two extremes were present.
A people who thought they knew God and a people who knew Him.
For those people who thought they knew God but in fact did not , God steadfastly tried to bring them around. They were taught to believe, God likes to be worshiped. God likes sacrifices.
Do those two things and you will be blessed.
Matt. 16:13-20 Jesus has a talk with His disciples about church.
To me it is plainly said that I personally must have ,not flesh and blood but Jesus' father in heaven reveal to me , who Jesus is.
The gifts of the Spirit are vital to this truth and must be allowed to exist. The correct way that these gifts should operate should be learned.
The problem is so many times that the gifts of the Spirit are given to an unteachable people. How that happens, I am not sure . I can only report what I know from personal experience. My willingness to receive the gifts came first and then understanding of how to use these gifts .I am still learning and seeking for understanding. Perhaps our Father in heaven compares it to our learning to ride a bicycle. Someone could teach you about riding a bike but you never will learn how to balance and successfully ride a bike until you have one to learn on.
So perhaps the gifts of the Holy Spirit are given to us in earnest.

FREEDOM IS OUR SONG. FOR HE HAS COME TO SET THE CAPTIVES FREE. NO MORE ARE WE TO LOOK TO MAN TO TELL US ABOUT OUR GOD.
MAY WE EXPECT OUR LORD TO SPEAK TO OUR HEARTS DAILY . MAY WE REPENT OF OUR FALSE IMAGE OF HIM. MAY OUR HEARTS BE OPEN TO TRUTH. MAY OUR HEARTS BE OPEN TO THE WAY. MAY OUR HEARTS BE OPEN TO LIFE. MAY WE SEE ALL THAT JESUS DID FOR US AND ACCEPT IT ALL AS THE FREE GIFT IT WAS INTENDED TO BE. MAY HE WASH US OF OUR SINS & INIQUITIES. MAY WE TRUST HIM FOR A GIFT OF RIGHTEOUSNESS. MAY WE GO AND SIN NO MORE.

2005-11-26T06:12:00.000-08:00

DOING IT RIGHT or TRUSTING TO BE RIGHT !
Let me make it clear that I do not encourage ignorance. I read the Bible to learn what is RIGHT. I do not just assume that because I am trusting God now, to do what is right that I can ignore what He has written out. However I find myself relying on my knowledge rather than His Spirit to perform what I have read.
This grieves me , as I believe it ought, thus I know a fruit of repentance will at some time be seen.
How do I know if it is my idea to do what is right or the Spirit leading me to trust Him to do what is right ? You see both rooms, (pleasing God & trusting God) require doing.
What I have learned to do is expect confirmation to come and confirm to me somehow (I do not decide how) that "yes, this is the Spirit leading you to do this." If it does not come,(the confirmation) I am learning to not do it.
This could be embarrassing if I was a man pleaser.
I told you I would present the opportunity to my children when they came to visit to partake of the Lord's Supper with me. It seemed like a good idea to me. However ,the Holy Spirit never confirmed it. So I did not do it.
I think there will be a time that I and my children do this sacrament together and I will be ready when I see the Spirit leading me to this.
The Holy Spirit is doing a lot in the lives of my family right now.
It is my hope to not quench or hinder the Holy Spirit in any way.
He is the authority in my life. He is the One I want to trust and obey.

2005-11-24T05:52:00.000-08:00

TRUST & OBEY ,for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus,
but to trust & obey. Young readers may have not ever heard that song .
It was more than just a catchy phrase to sing. I think it holds true as I know of countless times trying to be happy in Jesus doing it another way.
Never did work. At the bottom line most of those times I was trying to see if I couldn't please the people around me and please Jesus at the same time. Although the world would think it was admirable , I know it really stunk !
Gehazi & leprosy. II Kings 5 tells of a story about a guy who was a pleaser. His life was given to serve his master but when the opportunity came to see what his real desires were it became all to evident. He went after the money. Even though he knew it was not his master's wish. He thought somehow he could go on serving his master and have what he wanted to. He got caught pleasing himself !
When all I want to do is please others, I wonder where my desire really is ? Years ago I held onto the scripture that said "Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart." While I have been learning to delight myself in the LORD the desires of my heart have been changing. No longer is the man pleasing desire binding me that would keep me from obeying Him. At least I see myself able to do things today that I could not do years ago and it is a delight to realize that it is true, "we are transformed by the renewing of our minds."
Ask my family if they would like to partake of the bread & grape juice our Lord told us "to do this in remembrance of Him" ? Their answers are immaterial to the fact that I have obeyed. Their choices to partake and be thankful with me for our most precious gift , SALVATION from our punishment of sin, is merely a personal choice. My greatest hope & joy would be to know that they have indeed received this gift from our savior and would not fail to acknowledge it. How glad I am to know that the prison warden called man pleasing , has no control over me today. I am ready to serve the LORD with all my heart . I have been set free.

2005-11-22T05:06:00.000-08:00

PLEASING & OBEYING are they the same thing ?
My parents taught me to please them. It was called obeying but it was not really obeying as I have learned the difference between the two words.
To please someone your intent is for their interest.
To obey you are submitting to their authority.
For those of us who are reading the Truefaced Experience book we are realizing the difference between these two words hold apart two separate worlds for us. Will we go on pleasing God , or will we begin to start trusting God ?
So that I am not going to fast for some of you, let me break this down just a little.
Who is the authority in our lives ? Is it God ? Then who should we obey ?
It is God.
If we do what He has laid out for us to do [HOLY BIBLE] with idea we will please Him if we do this, are we trusting ? If we obey His word with faith in His authority ,NOW we are trusting.
I could go on about how I feel God has been gracious to me in convincing me that He is not only my authority but that He is an authority that loves me. This helps tremendously when you approach an invisible God (to our eyes) that you want to obey .
Same way with our children I would think. Aren't the ones who are convinced that their parents love them more able to obey them ?

2005-11-15T07:22:00.000-08:00

SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. Matt 6:33
Are we really ready for this kind of life style ?
Just last week I heard of a wonderful miracle that God was performing on a daily basis to provide for the needs of His people.(Six people that I was aware of these miracles helping.) So that His kingdom can come ? So that His will can be done on earth as it is in heaven ? My educated answer is "Yes !" Did I get excited about the miracles ? "Yes !"
"What does this mean ? Are you trying to confirm to me this person is a prophet , LORD ?" I asked.
Then as His Word was being taught to me , I felt that such an important truth is being over looked.
If we are seeking the Kingdom of God and His righteousness ,miracles just might be on the agenda that day. If we also receive a Word of Knowledge from Him that says ,"Tell the people to look at this , because it is for My Glory to be revealed." Then maybe we are to say something. (I think the person who shared with me was suppose to. However, I didn't go blabing it around. I have been holding it in my heart and seeking and waiting for His word to come about it. I did tell that I know of some miracles happening . It is just very exciting.)

2005-11-14T05:37:00.000-08:00

BEING READY FOR MIRACLES to happen.
Being able to know if you are ready for miracles to happen.
Being able to know how to get ready for miracles to happen.
Being able to accept God's way and His time table for them to happen.
All of the above are important key elements for the Truefaced Christian.

Part of Matt 22:12 tells of a man who was dumbfounded when he was questioned as to why he was not prepared for a wedding feast.

Let us be aware of our need and the needs of others . Let us know how to be ready for whatever the Father may have in His will for us to do today. Help us not slow down if He makes it known that a miracle is to happen.
Mostly help us not be so busy doing Christian stuff that we failed to be prepared for the wedding feast as we ought.

2005-11-12T06:30:00.000-08:00

A SWEET SMELL

yes, a sweet smell is what I long to be.
How about you ? Can you imagine that what you do is a sweet smell ?
I think it can be so . I think that our lives are a smell to our King.
I think our choices affect our smell. I think our worship to our LORD and
King are a smell. I think what we do , everything, from washing the dog to cleaning the church, can be done as unto the LORD , and be worship.
I do think that it can be a worship that stinks. When I live my life to please Him. It stinks ! When I live my life in faith, trusting Him, it smells better.
Smells have a way of just easing up slowly. When you pass a skunk on the road as you drive by, oh yes, you know there is a skunk close by. For awhile you can still tell there was a skunk but slowly the smell goes away.
That is how I imagine it is with my leaving the room of pleasing God and entering the room of trusting God. Not an over night change . Just a constant change for the better as I go along.

A PLACE LARGER THAN A FOOTBALL STADIUM FULL OF
WORSHIPPERS. WORSHIPPING OUR LORD AND KING . SAYING "BLESSING,AND HONOUR,AND GLORY,AND POWER, BE UNTO THE LAMB FOR EVER AND EVER.

Will my choice to LOVE the LORD my God with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind and all my strength , have an eternal value to our KING ?

It might. It is my soul that wonders such things. My soul wants me to be practical. I remind my soul that I have decided to follow JESUS whether it feels that it is practical or not. There are those who do a lot of things to convince themselves that following JESUS is a practical thing to do. That you will be glad you did it. Just try it ! I think they have entered the room of pleasing God and have not yet found that there is another room to go into. In the room of trusting God , I have found the keys of the KINGDOM.
Thus, righteousness , peace and joy in the HOLY GHOST sound like a good sales pitch for those I see concerned about their souls. However, I am afraid that if I offer it to them , "as a sales pitch" they are liable to come back on me when they find out it is not exactly what they have expected.

I found what I found because I always believed that what was written in the BIBLE applied to me. I always thought that my story (life) is written down somewhere in a book that atleast ONE BEING, (THREE IN ONE ) will read. I have always thought the words in the BIBLE were meant to be helpful to me in my story. That if Martha was told, " there is really only one thing necessary, really only one." It had a meaning for me.

That the less I did myself , and the more I did in the strength the LORD gives me, the better it would smell. (This last statement is not included in the "I have always believed.") I guess this is something I began to believe as I began to "trust God " that what He said to Martha, about Mary, applied to me. Because it takes His strength to put that other stuff aside.
It takes His strength to take off the masks and be real. It takes receiving what He is willing to do . It takes believing that it is okay to not "please Him " but trust Him.

2005-11-10T05:42:00.000-08:00

Surrender & Love
With all our heart, soul , mind & strength is how we are to love the LORD our God, and teach our children to do the same . Is my understanding of Deut 6: 4-7
When I give Him my heart, I give Him my soul, I give Him my mind and give Him my strength . It is my hope that He then will cut the flesh off of them. Why does He need to do that ? Well, because the way I have loved Him in the past, with my soul, mind, heart and strength really stinks. I think there is some reference to that when the Bible speaks of God's opinion of self-righteousness.
It is that fleshly attempt to please Him that stinks up the place every time.
However, I almost became convinced there would never be a time to express my love to Him. Then I saw it, even as I am offering my flesh to Him , while we go through the book Truefaced Experience together.

Lord,I give You my heart when I believe that You love me ,even when I do not understand what is going on.
I chose in my heart to say, "Blessed be Your name."

2005-11-09T05:27:00.000-08:00

Gilgal a place where the flesh was cut off.
It is our flesh that wants to hide from God. The Adamic nature ,rightly named as many of you know, Adam & Eve's choice in the garden of Eden
to eat of the forbidden fruit resulted in what we now know to be our flesh.
Deut. 30:6 And the LORD thy God will circumcise thine heart, and the heart of thy seed, to love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, that thou mayest live.
For us today , it may mean, come out from hiding. Do not hide from God's Love. Accept He loves you , even when you make mistakes. Accept that He loves you, even when your flesh is still obviously not all cut off. Let Him love you even before you can start doing better.

2005-11-08T05:39:00.000-08:00

Giving myself time to change.
Romans 12:2 speaks of being transformed by the renewing of our minds.
This is not an overnight process. Standing in the room of trusting God ....
......................I wait.
Did you know that the word wait is not always a do nothing word?
In fact I was told that in Isaiah 40:31 wait upon the LORD is an action word. Similar to being used in this sentence : "The waitress did a very good job waiting on our table." Wait in that ref means being ready to do
whatever the LORD would want. How do I find out what He wants ?
By reading His word........Then of course my mind will be renewed.....
I'll change.........in time.........I'll stand in this room called trusting God.

Are there elder brothers in your group ? Are you one ?

Oh it's horrible to be one and know you shouldn't. Pray for the elder brother to come into an understanding of His grace. They are right you know, it is good that they have been doing what the Father wanted them to do all along. They didn't need to wear a mask. They have always done what the Father has wanted them to do...........Oh, but they never had a party.
It is so sad................And now when you are ready to have a party......
they don't like it..............it is so sad...........Just go ahead.......go on in and enjoy the party...........maybe they'll come in later..............

Dancing With My Father God In Fields of Grace.............................(even the elder brother ? )
Yeah.......those who are waiting to change.

2005-11-05T05:59:00.000-08:00

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. Psa 121:1

It would be so easy to work on my problem now and clean it up for God.
However, it was those attempts that caused me to fall before.
It would be so easy to ignore what I felt the Holy Spirit was saying to me.
OH yes, I can remember doing that before.
I need His help not to HELP !
I need His help to not believe those condensing lies, "Oh, since He is going to deal with this for you , you can ignore it."

Repentance means that I am going to start doing something else now.
To know what that is exactly , I will have to be not ignoring the problem, but at the same time, be waiting for the Holy Spirit to give me repentance. You must replace something with something. I guess I should say, "When one thing leaves, something else will take it's place."
It will happen. I can choose to be mindful of my need to replace this wrong attitude I have towards people in authority . In particular, people whose choices about money issues , will affect my life. I can learn to say,
(giving the truth in love) ," I do not like your choices. Your choices will affect my life." Instead of secretly hiding my feelings.

I will need the creator of the heavens and earth to help me speak the truth in love. I will need the creator of all things to be on my side. I will need to remember He is for me . Thank-you JESUS. It is such a delight to belong to YOU !

2005-11-04T05:44:00.000-08:00

Hiding Style exposed. The great thing about Truefaced Experience is the stories of others who have gone before you. Their stories did not always have any similarity to my own, yet they said to me, "I dared to believe that the God we serve will still love me even if I tell Him about this."
Another book Hiding From Love , describes several common hiding styles that people use . For years now I have gone over the different ways people might use to hide from God's love and asked the Holy Spirit to show me if they applied to my life.
Also I have asked Him for years, what is my problem with money management ? I have been just trying not to hide from Him when I messed up again. Trying to believe that His love never changes, that nothing , even my bad accounting practices, will not separate me from His love.
An event different from finding out I was overdrawn at the bank, (again), happened in which I knew very well that I had hidden anger and resentful feelings about. Although I was trying to be more open and honest about those feelings , and believe God would still love me. Suddenly, I found out that the situation I was angry about had not been the way I had imagined it at all. It was kind of shocking really. To know that you had been angry at God for years about something, then decide to be honest about it, then to find out what you were angry about may not have been like you thought. PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE . Have you heard that term before ?
This is what Hiding From Love has to say about that style of hiding.
Passive -aggressive individuals tend to be highly resentful of others' supposed control over them, but they don't directly confront them. Instead, they show their anger in indirect ways, such as procrastination, sarcastic humor, "forgetfulness," and intentional inefficiency.
Somehow, I just know this has something to do with my poor money management problems. Boldly I have to admit that the way my parents handled their money choices has caused an anger issue in me. Indirectly that anger is pointed towards God, but of course I do not want it to be.
The recommended steps for changing this style of hiding is : Learn direct, face-to-face confrontation and appropriate expression of anger.
I am not sure what the appropriate expression is ,at this point I am just glad that it has been graciously revealed to me what I have been doing all this time. It is so wonderful to know that I belong to a loving God.

2005-11-03T05:30:00.000-08:00

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me ? Psa 118:6

Isn't it great to know the Lord is on your side ?
Remember when you were a kid and you just wanted someone to be your side ?
Someone that would agree with you ?
Today, if you agree with the Lord, He is on your side.
Awesome isn't it ?

Beloved,believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God:
because many false prophets are gone out into the world. Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that [spirit] of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world. Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
I John 4: 1-4

2005-11-01T04:33:00.000-08:00

Rev 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto death. The him that the word is refering to here is Satan. No matter what your stand is on end time events I think all Christians should be aware that our adversary the devil, is walking around seeking whom he may devour. I Peter 5:8 tells us to be sober, be vigilant.
Ever since I began this blog I have been wondering if the readers are aware that the eniemy is not going to want them to go through with the Truefaced Experience. To be mature enough to realize your need for a closer relationship with Jesus , thus reading this book means to me that certainly you must have some experience. Yet I wonder, what kind of a group are you in, or who are you around. Lord willing they are able to give you the love and support that you need as you are doing the best you can to be real. However, for the dear heart who has a well meaning friend who is not supportive, hang in there ! How nice it would be if everyone could understand us or just love us, the way that Jesus does.
It won't happen for you, I am almost certain. Even Jesus did not have a circle of friends who said the right things all the time.
Think of His episode with Peter. In Matt 16:23 Jesus had to tell him, "you are not savouring the things that be of God." Paraphased . Also, while teaching Jesus gave a parable that we refer to as the prodical son parable.
For those who know this parable I would like to offer you the idea that the parable has been named wrongly. It is the elder brother parable. Most assuredly there is going to be one, for every prodical before he goes into the party his father has invited him into. You may even find yourself being the elder brother. How awful is that ? Pretty awful. Hang in there.
I was faced with this, and my well meaning friend said," stop being like that." Right. In whose strength was she sugesting I do that in. Now she may have meant to say, "Seek the LORD until you find Him. Ask Him to give you grace to help you repent of this attitude. "
However, she didn't. But that doesn't matter now, because I did seek Him and I did find Him and fortuneately for me, I had the DVD at my home that the guy gives that talk in at the beginning of the classes.
You can buy that for yourselves people. I would almost recomend it.
Although it seems like an extravagance of money. However, when I listened to it again. Sitting there this time knowing what I knew about myself. So much more than the first time I had heard it. When he came to that part about where the people were beginning to open up to each other and say things like, "I forgot my kids birthday, and I don't even have a regular prayer time." The other guy says,"Is that the best you got ?" And then he goes on and tells him his stuff.
Well, I tend to respond alot like the elder brother sometimes, and sometimes I get alittle carried away with myself and think I know better than everyone one else, and sometimes I even wonder if Satan isn't trying to get his bluff in on me and get me to say the wrong things.
It is the best I got. Go ahead and take it in to Jesus. He is still going to love you . He is still going to be glad to hear the truth. Remember, He REJOICES in the truth. Yes, He is going to tell you how to repent.
He uses the Bible. You know that. Yet how often do we get to see what He told us about in action ? People willing to accept us with our sins, wash our feet as it were, with a faith in His forgiveness. Not to often.
Dare to become that kind of person. Go to Him first and let Him know the real you. Let Him assure you that if you were sitting there at that table before His crusification , He would come and wash your feet.
Would you let Him ? If the answer is no. Go back and read Matt 16:23 again. See sometimes a rebuke is good. Sometimes it is the wake up call we need so we get on track again. Even if the person didn't say it the way you would of liked to heard it. Take it to Him. He'll reword it for you.

2005-10-30T17:27:00.000-08:00

Receiving a love for the truth. That kind of goes along with love for people. I found this love for the truth being talked about in II Thess. 2:10.
People who are truthful are easier to love ? Possibly. The human kind of
love , yes most assuredly truthful people are love friendly. However, think about us, untruthful folks, are we still loved ? Yes, amazing isn't it ?
The One Who knows us best, loves us most.
It is wonderful isn't it. That He loves what we cannot love.
Receiving a love for the truth is something you can ask Him for.

2005-10-27T20:48:00.000-07:00

How Do I Love Thee ? When I began this adventure little did I know what was in store for me. The first post , full of my masks (hiding styles) I thought would be an easy task to share as I gave you a view as I took them off. Did you notice the word compulsive and also my reference to my agenda ? The story of the Good Samaritan came to my mind as I thought on my agenda. Isn't that what the Pharisee and Levite had in mind ? Taking care of their agenda ? However the good Samaritan had an agenda to, but was not to busy to stop and take care of a broken and bruised being laying on the side of the road. He did not over do, though, as you might know the story. He left the hurt man to be cared for and went on his way also. What that has to do with masks is that many times I have just planned on doing what I knew I was suppose to do. Even followed through with it , to find, I had ignored the really important task that was meant for that day. A phone call to a lonely person. A card or e-card even with a special thought for someone. Prayer. How many times, have I forgotten to pray for someone's special need. The real self-centered me.
Is behind the mask. How can I stand it , to let you know the real me ?
Ahhhhhhhh, this is where How do I Love Thee comes in.
What I did not know is this is also How I will love thee, dear readers.
For He will not be content for me to just merely give you helpful advice and encouragement. He will expect me to love you , as He has loved me.
In time. I am not divine, as He, however, in time, I hope to love you all as He also loves you. Now back to How does He love You, may I point out to you the ways. They are found in the Bible I Corth. 13: 4-8a
His love suffered long, and is kind.
His love envied not: His love vaunted not itself, is not puffed up.
His love doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked,thinketh no evil: rejoiceth not iniquity, but REJOICES in the truth.
His love beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. His love never faileth:
Because of His love for me , I dare to be me. Though not nearly all of me is showing, yet enough that I think I can encourage you and say, "I've tried it. " James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. Yes, you will have to wash your hands and so on as it says afterwards, read the whole chapter, maybe even all of James if you have time. I do not want you to think it is okay to pull one scripture out and tell you do this and it will be okay. However, if you are reading Truefaced Experience and you are wanting to go through with it. Do what they are suggesting. Do it. You won't be sorry. His love never fails.

2005-10-18T20:29:00.000-07:00

I Corinthians 13:6
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.

Does that mean if I tell the truth about my iniquity,
He rejoices ?

2005-10-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

De-masking may hurt . If honesty did not cost something would it
be esteemed ? At first I thought I would never get through this book,
Truefaced Experience. The pain/fear of being real and then what ?
A blessing for me was that these guys who wrote this book really knew.
They knew that there was a very good reason the masks had gone up.
They knew that those reasons had not changed. What would need to change was the way we had once looked at those reasons. Not exactly
a change that can occur over night. If one was not even aware of there
being masks on that would probably be the starting place.
I was aware of masks. I was aware of masks on top of masks. I am
aware still of masks that need to come off. That is why I am sharing what I have learned about the Truefaced Experience.
Exactly what is my agenda. I was thinking about that the other day.
Someone I cared about had a problem and I thought perhaps I should help. Wanting to "help" is a red flag for me. I am a compulsive helper.
It is a constant source of remorse to me that I find myself busy doing stuff . Yet, my agenda, yes, I know what that should be. My calling, my particular thing I ought to do in the body of Christ. I know what that is.
It has a lot to do with the book called Truefaced Experience. Also another book called Hiding From Love. It has to do with realizing years ago something was amiss in my relationship with God and reading the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden over and over. It has something to do with just knowing that what our LORD really wants is an intimate relationship with us. It has something to do with realizing that my inability to have lasting relationships with people was showing me something was a miss. It has something to do with beginning to understand that I have many hiding styles.
For someone who has been on a journey for so long and has not yet reached her destination it might sound silly that I want to encourage others in their trip. Yet, I think it will only sound silly to those who have not started the journey. Those that have begun, know, it is a lonely trip and company or a little encouragement is always welcome.
Anyway, I think this is my agenda. To be an encourager to others who are attempting to enter the room titled "trusting God" rather than continue to spend all their time in a room known as "believing God". It is a very hard thing to do. No one will be able to make it easier for anyone. However if they have read Truefaced Experience or Hiding From Love and they happen on this blog they might find just a little encouragement. They might offer alittle encouragement too. (That would be nice.) Regardless,
I journal almost everyday and no one but me knows what is there.
Sometimes I am inspired as I write and I wonder is this just for me or should I share it ?
So I'll blog it.