Truefaced

Building A House Upon A Rock. For about a week I had been feeling as though I was a wad of gum on the floor of a bus terminal. Sure that every person looking at me was doing so with disdain. What happened ? Having truthful friends can sometimes be inconvenient. It is more fun to just go along and not be interrupted with comments such as "that sounds critical and judgmental to me." When I rehearsed with her what I had said, I agreed, that does sound critical and judgmental. One more time my ugly old nature had raised it's head and instead of my being able to say, "I am choosing to do this, for this reason. " Instead I said, "These people are so wrong to do this ,so I am going to do this other thing." The other thing is perfectly alright to do. The being critical and judgmental just isn't . "It is the proof ,that I still have not forgiven those who have been critical and judgmental towards me, " I said. This I had figured out long ago. You can quit doing a sin that you have forgiven others for doing, much easier. Just a personal observation I had made, I know it to hold true in my life. And I know that I still have not forgiven others who have been critical and judgmental of me, although I have tried.
"Why are you so hard on yourself ?" she asked.
That was the redeeming quality of our conversation. It was apparent to me that she was one who understood the grace of God. In her mind it was a wonder that I could not receive His abundant grace for my short comings. It does seem to be in some kind of a grid lock that does not want to give. However, I , realizing to give up IS NOT THE ANSWER , persist and ask the Father again and again to help me forgive those who have trespassed against me.
However, receiving His grace for such unforgiveness , I guess I had just overlooked. I want to talk about it with Him, when I have forgiven them. Not now. Yet as the week went on , I realized, I better talk to Him now.
So I did. Being an ugly wad of gum on the floor of a bus terminal is not a fun place to speak to God. How much better it feels when I picture myself a beautiful rose or even a precious diamond. It is even a joy to view myself as a green blade of grass, waving in the wind with thousands of other blades of grass that send up a sweet aroma and delightful sight to Him. Still, I talked to Him and said, "I know You love me , even when I think I am unlovable. Thank-you. "
So He let me see that this critical , judgmental attitude , is not the abundance of my heart.
It is on it's way out, just not all the way out , yet.
Luke 6:45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

posted by Diane B at 5:42 AM