To Love Truth......As you already know there are many benefits from this truefaced journey that we have chosen to go on. One treasure that I have learned to appreciate is that in order to step forward, I must embrace truth. Truth has not always been my friend, so this new relationship that I am developing with truth is new and exciting. It not only gives me strength and hope, but also joy. When I once looked at problems and saw only a dead end , I now find that the same kind of problem will arise and I see a path. It is a narrow path, so narrow that I am totally unsure I can make it . Just the same , I am rejoicing that I now see what I had not been able to see before.I think it has to do with a desire to know truth. I think I must have wanted to know truth or I would not have bought the book titled, Truefaced .
How are you doing without a hiding style ? Hiding styles are not obvious . David asked for truth in his inward parts. Am I suggesting that he realized that he had been using a hiding style ? Yes, I am. A once close relationship now distant would give David a clue that something was not right. Rather than just say, "I won't do it again," he asked for truth in his inward parts. Rightly knowing that he needed discernment from the HOLY SPIRIT as to why he had fallen into sin. It came to me quite by accident that conviction does not always mean conviction of a sin. It could mean conviction of a truth. Being convicted of a truth would be much more than just knowing a truth. Conviction of a truth would be a truth that the HOLY SPIRIT had revealed. So would be truth in the inward parts. Our fall into sin is the belief of a lie. So to have truth revealed would be what would be needed to end acting out on the sin. The forgiveness of the sin is of course , quite another thing. That is grace and grace alone. I consider the mere fact that He takes the time to reveal my hiding styles to me a great gift. He doesn't have to , you know. Yet because I ask, He graciously reveals them to me. Now I await His graciousness to reveal how I am to live without them. They are not easily disposed of like a pack of cigarettes. When I abstain from one, another appears in it's place , and then another. Each one entreating me more than the former, daring me to lose my focus and give in. My personal struggles might not be of interest to you if you do not have these particular styles of hiding to overcome.Because I long to meet someone who has come this road before and made it, just a little farther than I have, I continue to write. Addiction. I mentioned before the approval seeking child style. That is a form of addiction. Addiction takes on many forms and can slyly work it's way into my life. Having seen it take over so many times before I have been watching with interest this new development of more opportunities to gather together for Christian fellowship. Not that anything could be wrong with that. However, to the addict , it could become a drug that eases pain , rather than the intent that the HOLY SPIRIT had in mind for the gatherings. I want to share with you some information that the HOLY SPIRIT led me to , today. While I am talking to you about addiction and it's causes, I want to remind you from where we stand. In our book Truefaced by Thrall, McNicol,and Lynch , I am blessed to be able to read of others who are making their way on this same road I travel. One in which they have learned/are learning to trust God with our sin. A diagram,Working on My Sin Issues with an arrow under it. Then these words Trusting Who God Says I Am with an arrow under those words as well. Tells you I expect not to end my problem with addiction myself. I belong to God. He and I will work on my sin issues, but I will stay in a place of safety, already established for me. I am redeemed by the blood of the LAMB that was slain ,for me.Addiction & Grace by Gerald G. May, M.D. has these words of knowledge for me. Temptation is the starting point of addiction. I quote him now, Whether we see it simply as our biological capacity to become attached , or as a seduction by dark external forces, or both, temptation is always the first step. (highlights mine)The fact that he saw that our (we addicts) bodies crave attachment and that it is not just an emotional state . That the biological parts of our bodies become involved as well, gave me hope that this guy might really know what he is talking about. I offer you other nuggets I found in his book. One that I was already aware of , Christ does not want to become another object of attachment. You can not have a relationship with a bottle of booze, although I know many who do, have a shallow relationship, I guess you would call it. It is there. It eases pain. For some that is only kind of relationship one knows how to have. They are stuck there. When they try to relate to people instead of booze, they want them to be there, they want them to ease their pain. When you try to put that onto Jesus , He does not allow it. Sure , He is there. Sure He will ease your pain, but will you now treat Him like you do that bottle ? It is not that we should not have attachments, but it is how you attach that makes the difference you see. And this is as far as we go.I do not know what the right kind of attachment looks like.I have never done it. Never seen it. Only know it must exist because I am reading about it in Mays book. Also Townsend's book Hiding From Love gives ideas that some have found help for this dilemma that I now face. He offers hope to those who are in the habit of hiding from healthy attachment. He gives a clue to the source problem when he lists the many styles of hiding. He says , first , hiding styles are a "road map" to our developmental needs. Our protective patterns help point out to us what it is they're keeping safe. They give us valuable information about what's behind the door they're guarding. This knowledge can help us learn if we're defending a broken trusting part, an injured will, a hurt imperfect self, or a bruised authority need.Once we're pointed in the direction of knowing what's wrong, we can begin to plan for repair.For the addictive-compulsive style he has this to say, defensive behavior is : Substitutes need for attachment with some substance or activity in place of people. Recommended steps: Take loneliness to God and others rather than substituting false focus. Okay, here's the map. Do you have any ideas about how to do this ?
The Approval Seeking Child. One of my hiding styles, found in Hiding From Love by Dr.John Townsend. Finding a style of hiding is not like finding a sin, however the enemy does tempt me to see if he can make me feel bad about it. I only know that the mere fact that I have been made aware of the problem is evidence of the Holy Spirit in my life. This joy, that our God would be willing to take so much time with me, to un-tangle the mess of my life, gives me strength ! I found this on page 47 Truefaced by Thrall,McNicol,and Lynch, If my motive is Trusting God,Then my value will be Living Out of Who God says I am,And my action will be Standing with God, with My Sin in front of Us, Working on It Together.The approval seeking child, of course has an under-ground sin. For instance ....pride......In that old life of pleasing God , I needed to feel like I was getting rid of the sin for God, before I felt that I could enter His presence. Now I see what a waste of time that was, because He (Jesus) is my redeemer ! He does not share the credit for getting rid of my sins , with me ! He expects nothing but thankfulness for what He has done !
Grace giving is a delight. I have so long , longed for grace to be given , it is now a delight to have more than enough to give. I explore new arena's all the time. The alcoholic who has fallen off the wagon, "I believe God's grace is sufficient for you. His power is perfected in weakness." The God fearing person who found themselves unable to go it alone, "His grace is sufficient for you !" The person who has just no desire to get up off the couch and do something, "His grace is there for you. Do all that you do , for the glory of God ! Lay there on that couch and believe to give God glory!"
