posted by Diane B at
2:03 PM
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Sunday, April 23, 2006
TESTING ONE TWO THREE, TEST, TEST, In case you are wondering, it is still there, that critical , judgmental self. However, I decided , okay, I messed up again, I am going on. Before long , I actually thought of what I could have done differently and ended with just expecting the Holy Spirit to show this person that there is joy in obedience. Well, something about obedience. Anyway, you would have thought the fellow speaking today at my church had been able to know what had gone on in my head. Several times he said, "I can't be responsible for what someone feels the Holy Spirit is showing them to do." "I am not the Holy Spirit " he said. Oh, I wish I could be around him for awhile. Maybe that attitude would rub off on me.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Would You Like To Know my purpose ? I have been reading a book that has to do with mask wearing and the fact that Christian's in general have a difficult time being their real selves. I find what he has to say interesting and feel that he has a gift for letting people know "himself". His purpose is to be real ,so you the reader will fear less, and be real too. (My take on it.) He has found out that the real person, is loved by God.
It is not an easy truth to come too. That God loves you, all of you all the way down under all those masks you have ever worn. There are a whole large group of people that find it hard. Mainly because those significant others in their lives, just don't get it. When they dare to be real, out jumps their supposedly loving other and says, "I knew it !" I knew you were not being real and now you've proven it , and look what a mess you are." Basically what they imply is, "do you really think God loves you now ?"
"Well, obviously you might not," would be a good reply if you could get them to be so honest. And the dear saint who is standing there all vulnerable and with out a mask , must believe, "yes, God loves me now." The only way I know to get there is to believe that God's love is not based on our righteous deeds or our righteousness. As long as we think that possibly His love will be snuffed out by our unrighteousness the risk of taking off the mask is going to be to great. What I hope my purpose is , is to stand with you and say, "Yes, He does, God loves you now."
Perhaps the author of this book I am reading is getting this across to his readers. That he dared to be real and found out, God loved him and now you can be encouraged to find this out too.
Only what do you do , if you not only have an inner battle to fight but an outward one as well? What if every time you take a chance to be yourself and someone let's you know, they do not like the real you ? It is hard to be real then isn't it ? Of course, for me , I always knew they would not like me, because I did not like myself. It never surprised me that they would spout off with their critiques because I had been critiquing myself for years.
I just decided recently that it was a waste of time. The self that I would like, would become that way quicker if I would just accept that God loved me and go on. Oh, I do not want to deny the Holy Spirit time to convict me. I don't think that will happen anytime soon. But trying to fix up the self that they did not like so that they will like it, no, I don't have time.So why spend time thinking about it ?
If I hear someone say, "This mask I have been wearing, I want to stop." I want to be ready when it comes off to say, "there you are, God loves you."
It is not an easy truth to come too. That God loves you, all of you all the way down under all those masks you have ever worn. There are a whole large group of people that find it hard. Mainly because those significant others in their lives, just don't get it. When they dare to be real, out jumps their supposedly loving other and says, "I knew it !" I knew you were not being real and now you've proven it , and look what a mess you are." Basically what they imply is, "do you really think God loves you now ?"
"Well, obviously you might not," would be a good reply if you could get them to be so honest. And the dear saint who is standing there all vulnerable and with out a mask , must believe, "yes, God loves me now." The only way I know to get there is to believe that God's love is not based on our righteous deeds or our righteousness. As long as we think that possibly His love will be snuffed out by our unrighteousness the risk of taking off the mask is going to be to great. What I hope my purpose is , is to stand with you and say, "Yes, He does, God loves you now."
Perhaps the author of this book I am reading is getting this across to his readers. That he dared to be real and found out, God loved him and now you can be encouraged to find this out too.
Only what do you do , if you not only have an inner battle to fight but an outward one as well? What if every time you take a chance to be yourself and someone let's you know, they do not like the real you ? It is hard to be real then isn't it ? Of course, for me , I always knew they would not like me, because I did not like myself. It never surprised me that they would spout off with their critiques because I had been critiquing myself for years.
I just decided recently that it was a waste of time. The self that I would like, would become that way quicker if I would just accept that God loved me and go on. Oh, I do not want to deny the Holy Spirit time to convict me. I don't think that will happen anytime soon. But trying to fix up the self that they did not like so that they will like it, no, I don't have time.So why spend time thinking about it ?
If I hear someone say, "This mask I have been wearing, I want to stop." I want to be ready when it comes off to say, "there you are, God loves you."
posted by Diane B at
12:28 AM
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Monday, April 17, 2006
Working on Question 5 over in the Guidebook. (click my profile)
Remember the author of our book saying mask wearer's are often judgmental and critical ? I struggle with that character defect so much and at the same time I also struggle with loving others who have that defect. So there you are, the problem. Still the solving of the problem is not simple. Quite a few blogs back I pictured myself talking to other Elder Brother types who also wanted to stop being like that. The experience of the Elder Brother's in my own life haunt me, and then here am I doing the same as them. Was it Elijah who cried out,
"I am no better than my fore-fathers." It is a grieving awareness, however the godly sorrow I feel brings me hope. This sin is forgivable, it is forgiven. The hope I have, is it being cleansed from my life. The faith I have in God's Word tells me that Jesus overcame all temptations so that I could resist them. Question 5 talks about listening to your guilt and Question 6 talks about when you have been hurt by someone else's sin. It must be an immaturity in me that wants to shout out to God, "make him stop sinning, I am sinning because he is sinning !" Of course I know that is silly ! I know to God it is no funny thing ! I just see how foolish my flesh is. What hope I have is , that the confession of my sin is forgiven and He promises to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. The Word washes us and we are promised , being transformed by the renewing of our minds. Speaking of our minds , I am reminded that I had decided that II Corth 10:5 was not a typographical error in the Bible. That if it said, we can take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, then we must be able to. I have experienced victory in my life in the area of anger. How I came to have this victory was that I learned to understand the thoughts that were prompting the feeling. The feeling of course produced the anger, and I was told recently ,you can stop it there. However, I like my way. I learned to renew my mind with different thoughts, actually true thoughts about similar events that seemed to always produce anger. Now , when those things happen I am not angry but at peace because I know the TRUTH . There are still events that seem to trigger anger but they do not seem to happen often enough for me to get to the root thought. Thus , my friends exhortation "that it is a choice, you can choose not to be angry and line up with God's word. " I do not seem to be able to choose how not to feel. I can choose what to think. The judgmental ,critical attitude that comes , even when I do not want it to, must be akin to anger. It to must have a root thought that needs to be exposed and brought to the light. The light being Truth. Like I found with the anger producing thoughts, they were lies. Not based on the truth at all. Jesus surely will help me come to the Truth. I can boldly ask Him for that.
Remember the author of our book saying mask wearer's are often judgmental and critical ? I struggle with that character defect so much and at the same time I also struggle with loving others who have that defect. So there you are, the problem. Still the solving of the problem is not simple. Quite a few blogs back I pictured myself talking to other Elder Brother types who also wanted to stop being like that. The experience of the Elder Brother's in my own life haunt me, and then here am I doing the same as them. Was it Elijah who cried out,
"I am no better than my fore-fathers." It is a grieving awareness, however the godly sorrow I feel brings me hope. This sin is forgivable, it is forgiven. The hope I have, is it being cleansed from my life. The faith I have in God's Word tells me that Jesus overcame all temptations so that I could resist them. Question 5 talks about listening to your guilt and Question 6 talks about when you have been hurt by someone else's sin. It must be an immaturity in me that wants to shout out to God, "make him stop sinning, I am sinning because he is sinning !" Of course I know that is silly ! I know to God it is no funny thing ! I just see how foolish my flesh is. What hope I have is , that the confession of my sin is forgiven and He promises to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. The Word washes us and we are promised , being transformed by the renewing of our minds. Speaking of our minds , I am reminded that I had decided that II Corth 10:5 was not a typographical error in the Bible. That if it said, we can take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, then we must be able to. I have experienced victory in my life in the area of anger. How I came to have this victory was that I learned to understand the thoughts that were prompting the feeling. The feeling of course produced the anger, and I was told recently ,you can stop it there. However, I like my way. I learned to renew my mind with different thoughts, actually true thoughts about similar events that seemed to always produce anger. Now , when those things happen I am not angry but at peace because I know the TRUTH . There are still events that seem to trigger anger but they do not seem to happen often enough for me to get to the root thought. Thus , my friends exhortation "that it is a choice, you can choose not to be angry and line up with God's word. " I do not seem to be able to choose how not to feel. I can choose what to think. The judgmental ,critical attitude that comes , even when I do not want it to, must be akin to anger. It to must have a root thought that needs to be exposed and brought to the light. The light being Truth. Like I found with the anger producing thoughts, they were lies. Not based on the truth at all. Jesus surely will help me come to the Truth. I can boldly ask Him for that.
posted by Diane B at
1:58 AM
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Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Hiding From Love by Dr. John Townsend ...When we're attacked because of our hiding patterns-by others or ourselves- we simply hold them more tightly. If our defenses are our only friends, we will go down with them rather than abandon them and risk reinjury. It takes the warm light of grace and safety, with honest truthfulness,to help us outgrow our concealments.
Let us pray that the LORD will help us see when people are using a hiding pattern as a defense. Let us ask the LORD to help us receive His warm light of grace and safety, with honest truthfulness, to help us outgrow our concealments. That when we have received , we will be able to go and give this same light, grace ,safety and truth to others.
Let us pray that the LORD will help us see when people are using a hiding pattern as a defense. Let us ask the LORD to help us receive His warm light of grace and safety, with honest truthfulness, to help us outgrow our concealments. That when we have received , we will be able to go and give this same light, grace ,safety and truth to others.
posted by Diane B at
7:49 PM
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Monday, April 10, 2006
The Truefaced Experience Guidebook questions and answers can be found by clicking my profile link and then clicking Truefaced Guidebook. Feel free to share your answers in the post a comment or e-mail.
posted by Diane B at
11:12 PM
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Friday, April 07, 2006
Building A House Upon A Rock. For about a week I had been feeling as though I was a wad of gum on the floor of a bus terminal. Sure that every person looking at me was doing so with disdain. What happened ? Having truthful friends can sometimes be inconvenient. It is more fun to just go along and not be interrupted with comments such as "that sounds critical and judgmental to me." When I rehearsed with her what I had said, I agreed, that does sound critical and judgmental. One more time my ugly old nature had raised it's head and instead of my being able to say, "I am choosing to do this, for this reason. " Instead I said, "These people are so wrong to do this ,so I am going to do this other thing." The other thing is perfectly alright to do. The being critical and judgmental just isn't . "It is the proof ,that I still have not forgiven those who have been critical and judgmental towards me, " I said. This I had figured out long ago. You can quit doing a sin that you have forgiven others for doing, much easier. Just a personal observation I had made, I know it to hold true in my life. And I know that I still have not forgiven others who have been critical and judgmental of me, although I have tried.
"Why are you so hard on yourself ?" she asked.
That was the redeeming quality of our conversation. It was apparent to me that she was one who understood the grace of God. In her mind it was a wonder that I could not receive His abundant grace for my short comings. It does seem to be in some kind of a grid lock that does not want to give. However, I , realizing to give up IS NOT THE ANSWER , persist and ask the Father again and again to help me forgive those who have trespassed against me.
However, receiving His grace for such unforgiveness , I guess I had just overlooked. I want to talk about it with Him, when I have forgiven them. Not now. Yet as the week went on , I realized, I better talk to Him now.
So I did. Being an ugly wad of gum on the floor of a bus terminal is not a fun place to speak to God. How much better it feels when I picture myself a beautiful rose or even a precious diamond. It is even a joy to view myself as a green blade of grass, waving in the wind with thousands of other blades of grass that send up a sweet aroma and delightful sight to Him. Still, I talked to Him and said, "I know You love me , even when I think I am unlovable. Thank-you. "
So He let me see that this critical , judgmental attitude , is not the abundance of my heart.
It is on it's way out, just not all the way out , yet.
Luke 6:45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.
"Why are you so hard on yourself ?" she asked.
That was the redeeming quality of our conversation. It was apparent to me that she was one who understood the grace of God. In her mind it was a wonder that I could not receive His abundant grace for my short comings. It does seem to be in some kind of a grid lock that does not want to give. However, I , realizing to give up IS NOT THE ANSWER , persist and ask the Father again and again to help me forgive those who have trespassed against me.
However, receiving His grace for such unforgiveness , I guess I had just overlooked. I want to talk about it with Him, when I have forgiven them. Not now. Yet as the week went on , I realized, I better talk to Him now.
So I did. Being an ugly wad of gum on the floor of a bus terminal is not a fun place to speak to God. How much better it feels when I picture myself a beautiful rose or even a precious diamond. It is even a joy to view myself as a green blade of grass, waving in the wind with thousands of other blades of grass that send up a sweet aroma and delightful sight to Him. Still, I talked to Him and said, "I know You love me , even when I think I am unlovable. Thank-you. "
So He let me see that this critical , judgmental attitude , is not the abundance of my heart.
It is on it's way out, just not all the way out , yet.
Luke 6:45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.
posted by Diane B at
5:42 AM
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